Sunday, November 8th, 2009
posted by
Charlie Nickell

Fire BallIs it The Run Down or do the So Cal Ultra Runners Grand Prix Series events each year just seem to get hotter and hotter? Or, with free radical-induced aging are we as ultra runners physically losing body mass, getting colder and colder and it just appears hotter? Not sure what the deal is, but if anybody was wondering about the validity of global warming, just start running the Noble Canyon 50K year after year and you’ll immediately buy into the ozone depletion theory. The 2007 and 2008 events were hot but the 2009 Noble Canyon 50K was a dry roast of venti (made-up Starbucks word) proportion. At this rate, the 2012 event will be run in a refrigerated fire suit or possibly at night completely naked. We thought the empty swimming pool at the Start/Finish line was a nice touch — thanks Scotty.

In any event, San Diego isn’t synonymous with sweltering heat and frankly it’s Man with water wingsgenerally cool year round but saunter out to Pine Valley Bible Center, home of the Noble Canyon 50K, and leave the electric blanket at home. Pull up a sizzling-hot, gallon-size boulder, coat the rock with PAM non-stick vegetable spray and fry up those quads over easy. You’re in for a great race but if you think 90 degrees at the association pool is uncomfortable, slide the water wings back on, grab a floatie and bask in your 95-beat-per-minute resting heart rate. You’ll be dialing 911 later in life but better from the comfort of your Posturepedic bed than the Pacific Coast Trail. “Rampart, this is Engine 51. We have a male victim…”

Inknburnlogoweb
The 2009 Noble Canyon 50K race re-cap is brought to you by TRD’s new partner, Ink n Burn. An established apparel company, Ink n Burn is a motivated player in the ultra arena and will be revolutionizing endurance tees and tech shirts with fashionable designs, catchy ultra phrases, functional fits and top-notch performance fabrics. The Run Down can’t convey in this limited space the uniqueness of the apparel Ink n Burn will be introducing. However, a few early production peaks give indications that the products will finally give ultra runners a look of our own that truly reflects the sport and its participants. We borrowed a few samples to test them out in the Saddleback Marathon on 11/7/09 and we must say, they were very stylish and comfortable. Stay tuned if you want to look and feel good on and off the trail. Send an email inquiry to charlie@therundown.com.
 If you want to acquire any of the new Run Down shirts for an introductory amount. 

 

Tech Front Tecn Back 

 

The Noble Canyon 50K course is a tough but fair lollypop design and in reality is a tad farther than 50k (around 32.9 miles); it’s like asking for help at the DMV — ask 10 people the actual Noble Runable distance and you’ll get 12 different answers in three languages. If your body fat registers between 6% and 8%, the course is completely runnable. There are some long climbs but the angle of ascent isn’t close to the San Mateo Wilderness Park’s Teneja North. The course is very technical (roots & large rocks), 90% single track, 5% fire road, 4% asphalt and 1% biological leakage. The spectacular views differ drastically from mile to mile. One hour you’re paralleling a lazy creek, then next the Anza Borrego desert, then you’re traversing around massive Lake Laguna and then passing some dude puking on a brand-new pair of Solomons. The course provides a functional amount of shade but a number of exposed spots will remind you why roofs are such a nifty invention.

Colorado resident Jerry Armstrong’s RV wasn’t horizontally hogging up 10 spaces so there were ample parking spots conveniently located just a short walk to the bib pickup area.

Despite being partially marked by near sighted PCT 50 Race Director “El Cubano,” the course was mapped out extremely well with generous amounts of pink ribbons and white chalk. If you get lost on this particular course you better get tested for dementia. The trail is not confusing and there are more ribbons hanging around than in Greg Hardesty’s hair during Friday Happy Hour. Turn Right However, it never fails that somebody will pass through the Penny Pines aid station and take a left on the PCT despite multiple people yelling directions and waving neon signs, along with the Goodyear blimp and a billboard pointing to GO RIGHT.

With a total of seven aid stations, the course has plenty of H2O, electrolyte and fuel coverage. Aid station #4, at 16.5 miles, delivered a very pleasant surprise. We couldn’t decide whether to request an energy Gel, refill our water bottles or ask for an autograph. Manned by Surf City Marathon cover girl and newly self appointed Leona Divide 50-Miler RD Keira Henninger, along with fitness queen Shannon Waegner, Censoredit was easy for the guys to get momentarily distracted. Apparently, a private tree dance with select spectators was an option as Kirk Fortini was spotted swapping spit so long with a certain individual that he was asked to relocate his activities and the term trailhead suddenly took on an entirely new meaning.  

 

Matt Working The Run Down ran into Matt Davis before his coronation as a Bad Rat during a snowy 2007 PCT50 training run. We immediately picked up on his solid running ability and made a mental note to track his progress (more like stalking). Matt expertly captained the #1 aid station at mile 4. The first pass of runners through his domain were feeling good and most only waved while blowing past the dual canopies. However, that scenario drastically changed when the aid station transformed itself into aid station #7 on the return leg.

 

When The Run Down reached mile 29, Matt’s aid station looked like the 4077 MASH unit. I’ve never seen more runners slumped in chairs with wet towels draped Towel Head over their drooping heads. We wondered if Ramadan had hit and we’d missed the memo. Marisa Willment was politely puking off to the side while apologizing in her cool South African accent. Is it me or is there something kind of sexy about women throwing up due to pure physical exertion? Watching some bar cougar blow shrimp cocktail at happy hour just doesn’t bring up the same emotion. Ok, off topic but we do that a lot.

In our book, Matt has one of the toughest volunteer jobs of the event. Did you see any trucks or support vehicles nearby? Nope, all the tables, water and TRD’s Sub-Zero had to be manually hauled a few hundred yards across rocky terrain. Matt deserves a big attaboy for setting up the remote outpost, rehydrating the dehydrated and then being the Barry Manilow last outpost to break down and go home. Matt gets the TRD effort of the race award and will be receiving two complimentary tickets to Barry Manilow’s next concert.

 

Aid station #2 was under Cindy Yankee’s command. Cindy is a pro when it comes to race support.  An expert swimmer, Cindy endured years of tense crew work while supporting ultra fast Jerry Armstrong; that’s like trying to keep the late Fat_guy_tsunami_poolMichael Jackson corralled at Chuck E. Cheese’s. A swimmer supporting runners? I’m not sure The Run Down would be eager to even hold, much less wash, those tiny Speedos after a chlorine-drenched swim meet, so kudos to Cindy.

Most, if not all of the aid stations are captained by San Diego’s infamous Bad Rats; even running legends like Tracy Moore. All Rats are accomplished ultra runners or ex-restaurant help so service is timely, knowledgeable and top-notch. We recommend the Banana Gel Fosters and/or Salt Tab salad. Rats The Pine Valley Bible Center Gymnasium is air conditioned, has booth seating and is a fantastic spot for finishers and fans to hang out; or make out if you’re Kirk Fortini. The availability of private showers is a very unusual post-race option, which makes driving home and not becoming one with your car seat a wonderful thing.

Let’s talk results. What are the odds of a first-time ultra marathoner winning his or her very first event? Better yet, what are the odds of a first-time ultra Marty Elison 56 marathoner edging out legends like Tom Nielsen and Eric Clifton? The odds can’t be very good, but that’s exactly what 53-year-old Marty Ellison did on Saturday, Sept. 6, 2009. Being passed by Tommy Nielsen on rocky single track brings on a feeling of helplessness but it’s also a sight of pure power and grace. Somewhere around mile 31, Martin witnessed firsthand how easy Tommy makes even the most technical section look. However, Martin returned the favor on running mechanics and showed Tommy how to fly on hard pavement, passing Tommy during the last mile of blacktop for the overall win in 4:48:54. Had the race ended at the Noble Canyon trailhead, the results would read differently. However, starting and ending on pavement seems to be a growing trend in ultra running, so we suggest a few of you get used to it. 1999 Badwater winner Eric Clifton (5:01:25) delivered his normal podium finish while running in those ultra cool welding goggles and blowing through aid stations; Eric must suck moisture from thin air or sip dew off plants while in perpetual motion. We like it but don’t get it.

Apparently, you have to be over 50 years old to win one of these grueling events. These “old guys” are just smoking adolescents in their 20s and 30s, which is pure testament to how fit and talented they really are. In the ultra world, 50 years old is the new 35 — or at least it sounds good and gives The Run Down something to look forward to in 25 years.

IMG_0339_Edit_25001 As for the women, the top three all finished within 13 minutes of each other. Angela Shartel would win the event in 5:09:14 while women’s course record holder Michelle Barton cruised in for a solid second place showing at 5:19:26. After a full day of search and rescue efforts in the Saddleback Mountains on Wednesday, Michelle didn’t have her usual fire-in-the-eyes glare, though you know she toed the start line with full intentions of defending her 2007 title. However, Angela ran hard and smart on a very hot day and created enough of a lead to keep Michelle from being motivated enough to chase her down. Traci Dimino (5:22:34) would take third place — a full 20 minutes ahead of her nearest threat.

We need to get more information on the women during these races so we can give equal coverage because quite frankly, they look and smell a ton better than Keith Kirby after a Krispy Kreme race. We’ll work on that.

Let’s face it, race day shirts and finisher trinkets to an ultra runner are more important thanImg062 their kids’ SAT scores, personal tax refunds or Twitter updates. OK, we said it. Scott Mills’ swag is second to none. He takes personal interest in outdoing himself each year. This year’s finishers’ quick release tear gas container was top notch. I can’t wait to pull the pin the next time my kids don’t stop goofing around in their bunk beds. The 1981 “wake me up before I go go, don’t let me run that trail a solo” day glow technical race day shirt is second to none. It perfectly captured the week’s thematic search and rescue activities. And, what would the Noble Canyon 50K be without a fresh pair of Bad Rats’ can we make them any busier, polyblend socks. These puppies are too cool for collecting blood-dried toenails and make great hand puppets.

Rant

OK, so what’s with the hikers on the Big Laguna Lake Trail? Every year, no matter how tired you look, no matter how many bib numbers you have plastered all over your body, no matter Dogs Eatinghow long the line of runners in front or behind you, the walkers on the Big Laguna Lake Trail will stand in the middle of the trail and force you to run around them; this year was the king of all trail clogs. The Run Down had the dubious pleasure of getting stuck behind two large dogs being fed lunch (yes, in metal bowls) right smack dab in the middle of the trail. If we were in overall third place, we could understand the confusion, but with at least 80 people in front of us, the pet owners must have noticed some consistency of racer traffic and maybe expected more tired, delirious people navigating the sometimes very thin single track. I wondered if Purina Dog Chow might be a good source of carbs as I detoured into the brush to avoid the slobber of Cujo and his twin brother.

And while we’re on the topic, what’s up with all the unmanned mountain bikes? Do the owners actually ride them or just stand around staring at them? Seriously, we must have said “hey man” to at least 10 full-body-armored bikers all hanging out either eating a snack or day Mountain Bikes Restingdreaming about the Ultimate Fighting Championships. Personally, we have nothing against mountain bikers as long as they stay off the mountains. We enjoy all the gothic logos, thousand dollar Shimano derailers, weightless carbon fiber frames, vented helmets protecting defective thinking and of course that look of pure confusion as we go running past; they whisper quietly amongst themselves, “are these people for real, certainly they’ve seen or heard of the wheel?” Yes to a degree we understand bike mechanics but as runners we don’t coast downhill very well, have no idea or interests in fixing flats and we don’t score high enough on HALO 3 guzzling Monster energy drinks while obliterating hundreds of virtual soldiers and a few unfortunate digital civilians. OK, we have cool buds that mountain bike and are as fit and polite as the rest but you get the gist.

Honorable Mentions and Sightings

Kirk 1 Don’t forget to watch the new reality show Hair Swap. We’ve been out ofIMG_0116_Edit_2500 it but did San Diego Running Institute’s Dr. Victor Runco and Wildomar’s Kirk Fortini exchange hairdos, or what?

LegendaryBen Ben Hian and The Run Down go way back; about four days if you count Saturday. Ben, the 2009 San Diego 100 winner, Dean at Noblewould listen to his body and walk it in for a 6:10:40. While many elite runners just call it a day when “not feeling it,” both Ben and Dean Dobberteen (also not in full form) would finish what they came to conquer. We just love guys who beat 80% of the field while walking it in. Need we say more?

Marisa Willment and Lorraine Gersitz did the joined-at-the-hip Siamese twin thing and kept each other company as neither felt too motivated even prior to the gun going off. It happens.

Toby G Toby Guillette (heir to the Gillette razor fortune) continues to get better and better. While we didn’t see his normal Hooter girls cheering section, he was still a crowd favorite. Watch out for this guy as he progressively gets faster and faster. With the added heat, Toby was still able to beat his 2008 time by seven minutes; that’s an entire half hour in dog years.

 

ImagesCAW40NOL Always great to see the So Cal Trail Headz blocking single track and texting each within ten feet of each other: Jeff Smith, the iMichelle, Pam Everett, Kristen Trujillo, Keira Henninger, Shannon Waegner, Carmela Layson, Beiyi Zheng, club President Steve Harvey and his direct boss Annie Harvey. If I missed somebody it’s because I live in Orange County and have a difficult time thinking about anything aside from my new Viking BBQ with auto rotisserie.

Jeff Smith Bieyi 

 

Andy Kumeda represented this year’s paparazzi. The Polaroid camera was a bit retro but cool in its own right. Seriously, the guy lives near Pasadena and it’s not like the Laguna Mountains are just around his corner and gas is free.

IMG_0052_Edit_2500 If there was a Mr. Cool in ultra running it would be Rob McNair. We have no idea how many races Rob has won, placed or showed in and most like neither does he. Not one to boast, Rob does his thing with the greatest of ease. We’re not sure if he actually sweats. Rob finished in overall twelfth and looked like he just finished bringing the trashcans back in.

Los Angeles’ Robert Blair recorded his typical top twenty finish, refueled and then Robert Blairemost likely went for a 20-mile recovery run. If you train with Robert, be prepared to complete multiple ultras mid-week with an all night run sandwiched somewhere in between. Robert is training like a mad man for the inaugural Chimera 100K/100M on Dec 12, 2009 in Orange County’s rugged Saddleback Mountains.

Steve Cunningham was limping around the Start/Finish with a foot injury all due to Dr. Nielsen’s faulty medical advice; couldn’t have been those 90-mile weeks; no way. Jenn Cunningham was having problems keeping her hat on with the wind but that’s another story.

Dennis Koors Since everyone was asking, 2009 Badwater finisher Dennis Koors was not present at this year’s Noble Canyon 50K. In fact, we don’t think he’s ever run the event. Maybe the distance isn’t far enough or the heat high enough. But whatever reason Dennis has for snubbing the event, all his friends completely understand; no big, nobody takes it personally, whatever, we’re good, who cares, have a nice day, whatever turns your crank. The “Congratulation Dennis” banner hanging in the gymnasium can be used next year as a slip and slide for the fine children of the Bible Center who actually show up.

Paul Escola, Jeremy Scarborough and Kara Scarborough all finished within seconds of each other. Used to training in Tijuana where running solo isn’t safe, the threesome sprinted from rock to rock yelling “cover me” in absolutely incredible time. All snuck undetected across the finish line, slid into the trunk of a waiting lowered Impala and were gone.

Chaz The Run Down made a new friend. Her name is Kam Sengthong. Kam is some nutty rock climber who’s getting her pitons wet with the whole ultra thing. We tailed her for the last few miles and then pulled a Marty by passing her in the race’s final street section for the sweet “duded ya” victory. Kam had no idea we were racing but that was the plan. According to the Pine Valley Times (circulation 26, including 4 goats), Kam has been spotted repelling with Active.com’s Toby Guillette but we’re contacting her parents anyway to ask for a play date.

George V George Velasco maximized his cost per race minute by working the aid station cut offs flawlessly. George runs more ultras per year than most people do in a lifetime and is just a great guy who deserves a ton of credit for his true commitment to the sport and all the participants.

After a week of organizing conference calls, talking to ABC news and physically searching for a good friend in the Cleveland National Forest, Pam Everett Pam at Noble Canyonwas admittedly spent and ran uncharacteristically out of breath for much of the course. She still finished in just over 6 hours, didn’t get lost and was home playing Jenga when TRD kissed the rat. Pam is seen here trying to screw somebody else’s cap on her water bottle.

The Noble Canyon 50K is a top-notch race regardless of hot weather or who’s president. Race director Scott Mills (loves running fire road), in conjunction with the San Diego Bad Rats, put on an excellent event year after year. Having run ultras since 1981, when handhelds were rinsed-out Ancha Mimi maple syrup bottles, General Mills has 32 100-milers under his belt along with who knows how many endurance events of lesser, yet daunting length. There aren’t any ultra logistics Scott and his crew haven’t seen firsthand and they put that knowledge and experience to work for the benefit of the runners. Rat KissThe addition of two more aid stations in 2008 really made a difference. Having missed the 2008 event, kissing the hanging rat before crossing the finishing line this year was a stimulating experience. We’ll be aiming for a top 20 finish next year to avoid the 95 levels of saliva that piled up on that over sized rodent’s mug; doesn’t anybody use wipies?

 

People PrayingOne gets the feeling that on Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009 the fine folks at the Pine Valley Bible Center said a prayer for the Noble Canyon 50K participants, asking that we find resolution to whatever compels us to torture our bodies, or that we locate the Lord very soon before killing ourselves. Little do they or others typically understand that ultra runners choose to experience whatever/whomever created this great planet first hand in a very intimate and personal Scotty Mills manner. On Saturday, Scott Mills was our prophet and we followed his disciples (even if they were Rats) down the endurance path of physical exertion. Do I hear an Amen, Brother? Marty Ellison was Moses, and while he didn’t exactly part the Red Sea he certainly parted Noble Canyon, and as loyal followers we all jumped on his lead and found our own individual rocky path to redemption.

Or, more succinctly put, we ran 32.9 miles, grabbed a finisher’s retro bottle, scarfed a turkey sandwich and then called home to explain why we hadn’t left yet. Ultra marathons can be deep or just another long pain-in-the-rear run. It just depends on what’s going in your life.

IMG_0035a Written, ran and reported by Charlie Nickell.

Greg_coming_into_the_last_aid_station Edited by OC Register reporter and ultra runner Greg Hardesty.

Summary:

What: Noble Canyon 50KSandiegorats

When: Saturday, September 6, 2009

Where: Pine Valley (San Diego, CA)

Race Director: Scott (General) Mills

Short description for Attention Deficit Disorder readers: 10 miles up, run a 12.9 mile circle, 10 miles back down!

The Men
1) Marty Ellison / 4:48:54
2) Tom (Bad Rat) Nielsen / 4:49:35
3) Eric Clifton / 5:01:25

The Women
1) Angela Shartel / 5:09:14
2) Michelle Barton / 5:19:26

3) Tracy Dimino / 5:22:34

Complete Race Day Results Click Here

THE RUN DOWN HOME PAGE

Category: Noble Canyon 50k
Wednesday, December 26th, 2007
posted by
Charlie Nickell

brought to you by:
Index_t_r1_c1Item_rat_badbadrat_3 The inaugural 2007 Noble Canyon 50k is in the books. Hosted by the San Diego Bad Rats, we originally surmised it was some type of road rally orchestrated by the local Hells Angles chapter. Then we were informed that the Bad Rats are a San Diego based endurance ultra-marathon group and we pondered the name. Bad Rats, hum… Was the name redundant? Are there actually any good rats? Chuck E. Cheese maybe, but he still gets his grubby claws too close to my son’s rear –  and, frankly, he looks pretty creepy. Sure, rats have serious endurance. They do have a tendency to eat on the run while urinating in the company of others, so maybe the whole nomenclature makes sense. Orange County (home of TRD) doesn’t boast too many bad rats; the Home Owner Association Aesthetic Committees don’t allow flat-coloredStuartlittlechar_2  creatures that eat holes in salmon stucco. If “The OC” had a rodent based running club it would be called something like the Materialistic Mice. Our logo would be Stewart Little sitting in a Jacuzzi sipping apple martinis. But OK, we’re ultra junkies and we’ll run in any organized event so it was time to go hang with San Diego’s rat pack. A new event, put on by 100-miler veteran Scott Mills and a bunch of running legends like Tom Nielsen and Tracy Moore, was too tempting to pass up. Would Bad Rat “I make the pack look good” Dean Dobberteen’s van be utilized as a mobile Habitrail with exercise wheel and drip bottle? We’ve heard it’s a real rat’s nest in there.

OK, so it’s 7 a.m. and Scott Mills offers up the infamous words “You’re off” and like flood lights hitting the sewer drain, 150 rats scurry out the dirt parking lot toward the blacktop road which feeds into the Noble Canyon trail head.

Fast-forward, it’s 7:06 a.m. and everyone is now racing for second place. The legend himself, Eric Clifton, made the aggressive decision to end this thing early; he’s allowed to do that. An all-out effort runner, Eric isn’t one to pace himself. If he crash and burns, so be it. Eric runs the race he feels like running. With cool temps and overcast skies, the new Inland Empire resident was gone and nobody was stupid, brave or skilled enough to catch up with fancy pants. First place was ancient history by 7:30 a.m. Who would take home the silver, bronze and DFL?

We like the new street marathon trend in these trail ultras. It’s like driving your “never touching Traildirt” H2 on the freeway. With all the trail gear, it’s fun looking tough while floating around on groomed pavement. The transition from street to trail is hilarious and demonstrates how much more energy trail running requires compared to street endeavors (relax, street pace maniacs). My Garmin readings went from 8- to 10-minute miles within seconds of hitting the most basic dirt single-track. Sure, I was picking up Greg Hardesty’s discarded scrunchies but the going was noticeably slower.

The first 1½ mile of trail consists of a gradual single-track climb with a good mix of technical and manicured terrain. Once the initial incline ends, you have approximately two miles of soft gradual downhill running that includes some of the most runable sections of the Noble Canyon trail. If you’re going to pick up the pace, this is the section. Keep in mind you have to return in four to seven hours to navigate this stretch going the opposite direction (that’s up). This decline section is sanctuary in the early goings and rather hellish on the return. On the way down, all we could hear was runner chit chat but on the way back with runners in clear view of one another, you could hear a salt tab drop; fatigue has a way of silencing the crowd.

The technical section that greets you at approximately mile 3.5 is classic. Dancing around the various rocks reminded me of hopping through tide pools searching for sea urchins, spare change and lost wedding rings with my children.

The first aid station at mile 5.8 is one of the most remote aid stations we’ve ever encountered. There isn’t a road or vehicle within miles. Rumor has it thatKids_3 it’s a 1½-mile hike from the cars to the actual spot where the volunteers set up shop. Who got that detail? It appeared that the local high school track team was manning this remote outpost. Did their coach (who ran in the event) make them volunteer as part of some demented training regime? Were their parents punishing them, or was this some form of misguided detention for ditching Mrs. Rudenbaucher’s algebra class? The great thing about kids is the fact that they’re kids. No doubt they all had a complete blast dragging the coolers to and from the access point. Ask half the “adult” runners we know to walk ½ mile to a trail head and you’re speaking to the hand.

The trail between the first aid station and the 11.3-mile Penny Pines aid station is some of the nicest forest/canyon trail running in San Diego. There’s a creek in sections that sure sounds wonderful every hundred years when it actually rains enough to fill the darn thing. The trail has a fair mix of technical and non-technical sections but it’s a dicey, slow uphill grind.

As eluded to in TRD’s re-cap of the PCT50, Penny Pines is sadly enough not a bodacious porn star as the name would indicate but instead an expanse of burned-out pasture consisting of blackened Trench_coat_2tree trunks and scrubby chaparral. If this were Orange County, they would’ve ripped out the lifeless trees and replaced them with fake palm tree cell sites; seems reasonable. I mean, if God burned down the joint it must have been for a solid reason. That reason would most likely be improved cell reception as most people more closely monitor their cell phones “number of bars” versus the number of shotguns and ammunition being stored by their withdrawn teenager. Oh well, at least they’ll have full signal strength to call relatives with an accurate body count. Who knew, “He seemed so normal with the black clothes and swastika tattoos.” By the way, social tangents/rants are provided at no additional charge to the calling party.

GregDid anybody catch Hardesty’s shirt? Yep, he did it again and wore the Noble Canyon 50k event technical shirt during the actual race.Ji_2 Let’s get TRD crystal clear on this topic. If you go to Disneyland and buy a Mickey Mouse shirt, do you immediately put it on and look like a complete tourist? No! When you’re wearing the just- released race day shirt in a race that nobody has run yet you’re actually messing with the future. Is Greg the human time machine? His hair does look like Jeremy Irons in “The Time Machine.” Did Greg already finish the race and forget to put the past back the same way he found it? I really hate when people mess with my future especially when I’m in the processes of completely screwing it up on my own.

As I sit in the back of my wife’s SUV writing away, she’s in Starbucks getting a Venti (they’re inventing words in that place). They sell Starbucks T-shirts in this establishment. Yes, they do. Is my wife going into Starbucks wearing a Starbucks T-shirt so they know she wants a coffee? We all know she’s in Starbucks to get a soy mocha, two pumps, whip just like we know that the people in these races are actually in these races. The shirt is beyond redundant, too clean and has no distance testing for rashes or wear-ability! It’s a gamble. If you just can’t help yourself, go put on a MARS 50k Coolmax sleeveless and tell everyone you’re in the process of competing in that event and just blast off.

Car_cliffPam Everett almost ran me over twice in Keira Henninger’s garage-parked, detailed-twice-a-week Range Rover. I’m not sure but I don’t think it should be allowed to let ultra friends borrow strange cars while driving around unfamiliar terrain looking for oddly placed aids stations sandwiched between awkward street crossings. It’s an accident waiting to happen. Plus, for those of you who don’t follow Pam’s trail misdirectional escapades (you should) it wouldn’t be unheard for her to take a hard turn right off the Sunrise Highway and drop 3,000 feet directly into the Anza Borrego Desert. You can catch Pam’s new reality/survival show on the Discovery Channel at 8 p.m. Tuesdays; “Woman vs. Trail Markings.” In next week’s episode, Pam will travel 600 miles to Utah’s Moab region where she’ll get lost in a 10k street run and transform the sprint into a 100k life or death exercise.

The section from the Penny Pines aid station to the Big Laguna Lake Trail aid station at mile 16.3 boasts the best views on the course right from the world-famous PCT (Pacific Crest Trail). Of course, you’ll be too blown out to notice and too time focused to stop and smell the roses. The Anza Boreggo desert will resemble 12th grade and be somewhat of a bong blur. This section of the PCT resembles a kiddy roller coaster of sorts and if you can cruise into the Big Laguna Lake Trail aid stations with gas in the tank, the rest of the course is predominantly flat or downward in nature. Tracy Moore (7th at the 2007 WS100) greeted me as I stumbled into the aid station and immediately handed me a gel. That’s like having Tiger Woods hand you a golf ball and telling you to “give it a rip.” Doesn’t matter if Tracy hands you KY jelly and some tacks, you’re going to eat it and say thanks.

Not sure if anyone noticed but when Tracy’s aid station duties were completed, he ran 17 miles back to the finishing area for fun. Maybe Pam Everett side-swiped his car; reports are scetchy.

The rolling single track from the Big Laguna Lake aid station back to the Crowded_trail_2Penny Pines aid station (21.6) is the friendliest running on the entire course. We enjoyed dodging the 300 hikers going the opposite direction in their annual “walk too far with the family” Mecca. This section tracks directly around the shores of massive Lake Laguna. It’s pretty flat here. If it wasn’t flat the water would spill out of the lake; those attributes go hand in hand.

OK, did Michelle Barton almost become the first female to win a So Cal ultra outright for the second time? Wonder_womanYes, she did. We don’t think there are many better 50k female runners in the U.S. (maybe the world) than Michelle Barton. Passing Jerry Armstrong at the Penny Pines aid station (21.6) while he was playing Candy Land with 3-year-old son Jalen, Michelle would never look back. Jerry wasn’t about to chase after the caffeinated, couscous-fueled Energizer Bunny. You would need to climb inside a truck tire and roll down a cliff to have any chance of catching the iMichelle rocketing downhill. It’s an utter waste of time and energy. You’ve been “chicked,” so deal with it. Michelle finished overall second in 4:54:20 while most competitors had many miles remaining to navigate.

And, better look over your shoulder. Ann Hall (5:17:25), Keira Henninger, Anne Langstaff (6:11:56) and a host of other trail babes are all closing in. This isn’t male-dominated football anymore.

The TRD reports aren’t usually about the authors unless we do something really stupid that we feel others may benefit from; what not to do, don’t hang out with us…

At mile 1 (yes, that’s one) I had this burning sensation to go to the bathroom, but couldn’t. After almost ruling out VD, I tried not to think about the strange feeling but the tingling sensation quickly went from interesting to uncomfortable. From mile 1 to 15, I stopped at least 20 times trying to remedy the situation, but to no avail. My mind couldn’t make sense of the problem. Since the beginning of the race, I had consumed almost 100 ounces of water and didn’t release any fluids back into the wild (a specialty of Keira’s). I felt bloated and out of sync. I drifted back into my abusive childhood on one of those brutal family vacations where dad drove some insane distance in the beat up station wagon. Knowing you had to go pee but not willing to pull over, he would make you sit bent over in excruciating pain until the next gas station, which was absolutely nowhere in sight.Blood

Finally, at mile 20, I sat down on a wood log and was able to partially relieve myself. In a blink of an eye, the situation went from painful to disturbing. Oh good, blood! As if the run wasn’t hard enough, I was bleeding somewhere inside my finely tuned machine; classic dehydration or maybe worse? Perplexed, I pondered “How did I start a race dehydrated? Should I continue? Am I going to die in San Diego next to a lake the size of Mike Kennedy’s Newport Beach pool?”

The smart thing to do would’ve been to immediately stop, sit down and start guzzling water. The smart thing to do would’ve been to DNF. The smart thing to do would’ve been to put my family ahead of my pride. The smart thing to do would’ve been taking up lawn bowling instead of this running ordeal.

Fortunately, the final 11 miles of the Noble Canyon 50K is predominantly downhill. The bladder pain with the downhill jaring, while annoying, was bearable at slow speeds. Some hikers and a blind man asked if it would be OK to pass. Of course, I told them to pound trail. But, no PR today.

With the San Diego 100 only a few weeks away, Keira Henninger was just She_s_ready_3 going to “take it easy” and put on a few base miles. Normally we fall for this tactic but not after the fake Mt. Diss DNF. Feeling strong and rested at mile 16, Keira decided to crank it up a notch. At mile 26 she “chicked” same-day-race-shirt Greg Hardesty (5:28:47) and would never look back. Keira would finish in overall 12th in 5:20:57. We’re not sure what’s gotten into Mrs. Henninger but maybe it’s those Marion Jones energy bars. If somebody can actually catch up with her, give that gal a blood test.

Rob Cowan (Robo), fresh off a hundred-mile race, just coming off another 100 mile race, having just completed another 100 mile race, finishing 4th in another 100 mile race (ok, get the picture?), got lost twice and still managed to finish overall 11th in 5:20:24. Robo passed a few of the same people three times: that must have been confusing for them. This race was your basic half marathon for Robo the great.

We can’t speak for everyone but for us, ultras are physically taxing events and we don’t plan much for the evening immediately following a 50k. Apparently, we’re in the minority. The picture below is almost unbelievable. Wolfgang__im_and_roboIt’s a true testament to how fit these two very talented runners are. If you live in a cave or don’t eat gourmet frozen pizzas, that’s Wolfgang Puck on the far left. While most of this recap is average comedy, this is not a joke. This picture was taken in Los Angeles about eight hours following the conclusion of the Noble Canyon 50k. Oh yeah, both Michelle and Robo went home and then to respective kid soccer games before making it up to Hollywood. I don’t know about you but it looks to me that Wolfgang has the hots for Robo and that Saturday Night Fever tie.Dreexam

Eight hours after this race, I was at my father-in-law’s house getting a free sperm-of the-moment prostate exam. I’m not sure, but I think my post-race activities need some sprucing up. Let’s see, desinger drinks, ice sculptures and hob-nobbing in a swanky restaurant with famous people or my wife’s dad lubricated glove? Which activity sounds more fun? I don’t know, it’s a coin toss.

I can’t find much to complain about with the Noble Canyon 50k but to stay in some realm of objective journalism I have to make a comment about the dreaded porta-potties; not enough wasn’t really the issue here, but the location of the blue mini-vans comes into question. Situated adjacent the grass spectator area and gymnasium front door, I couldn’t tell if I was at an ultra event or part of the San Diego Zoo gorilla exhibit. The stench was unbearable in the precise area you really wanted to be hanging out. The only thing I can surmise is maybe it made the Bad Rats feel more at home. Fine, go move underground with Splinter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but please put future toilets somewhere else.

Leaving the trail for a few minutes and using both hydration bottles to mark his re-entry point, Robert Harris (6:06:33) was spotted trying to reclaim his hand-held devices from some nice mountain biker who figured they were up for grabs. Have we told you how much we love mountain bikers?

Kirk_2We ran the first mile with Kirk Fortini (7:32:30) but he dropped off to water the plants and then we didn’t see him again for six hours. For dinner, Kirk had taken his family to 711 the night before and it looks like he may have pounded one too many 64-ounce Big Gulps. Kirk would go on to complete his first 100-mile race in the Javelina Jundred in October. Congratulations, Kirk. Time to celebrate. Circle K, here we come!

We wanted to snap a photo of Kirk on the Noble Canyon 50k trail but didn’t bring our night flash equipment. Kirk is seen here posing for his life coach and idol Lambert Timmermans.

In all honesty, there were few if any indications that this was a new race. The ultra experience of the coordinators was evident in all aspects of the race. From aid stations to course markings, the Noble Canyon 50K looked like a veteran race in its 10th year. The pre-post race gymnasium was lush and spacious. Food was fresh and abundant. The Mizuno technical shirt is hands-down the best race shirt of 2007 and it’s OK to wear it in next year’s event; Greg! Dimitri! The post-race shower option was great, though we would request a co-ed group option for next year’s venue.

Overall, we feel the Noble Canyon 50k delivers the right trails at the right time. The first one-third of the course is predominantly uphill and requires the greatest effort which is nice in the initial stage of any race. You’re fresh, pumped and hydrated (well, some are). The middle section produces rollercoaster trails with gradual gains and losses. And, the final third is mostly downhill. The course is fair and transitions nicely. Hard enough for the hardcore and fair enough for the first timer, the Noble Canyon 50k should appeal to mice, hamsters, gerbils and rats of all abilities and agendas.

For next year’s participants, please be aware of the RV parked directly behind the gymnasium. This is Jerry Armstrong’s second home and he requests that you knock hard on the outside of his camper (no matter how early you arrive) so he can personally fix you breakfast. An energetic man, he limps around and tells everyone he’s injured and then passes you at mile 1, never to be seen again. Jerry, with the help of Dr. Victor Runco (6:37:21) and The San Diego Running Institute would take overall third place in 5:07:00. Not bad for a 1½ legged man.

LorrCongratulations to Lorraine Bennett (8:11:17) for completing her first ultra under the tutelage of Jerry Armstrong. And a super congratulations to Cindy Yankee Cindyfor competing in her first ultra. Falling over the cutoff time at mile 27.1, Cindy was given a lift for a few miles by race officials but that didn’t stop the world-class swimmer from crossing the finishing line and then going back out to complete the four omitted miles. Now that’s hardcore and the TRD likes that.

Throw the TRD in a race official’s truck and they better keep their eyes on the CDs. We’re gone in our leather bucket seats cruising back to Plastic Ville! Excuse me, is that a Rolex heart rate monitor? Wow, it really matches your hamstrings and Louis Vitton drop bag. I see your poodle has a TNF hydration pack. Where’s the Botox?

Written, ran and reported by Charlie Nickell.

Edited and ran by OC Register reporter Greg Hardesty.

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Summary:

When: Saturday, September 29, 2007

Where: Laguna Mountain area, San Diego County, CASandiegorats

Race Director: Scott Mills

Course Description: Hard but fair. Save something for final two mile climb near the finish.

Top finishers:

Men
Eric Clifton                          4:33:04
Jerry Armstrong                   5:07:00
Conor Carey                        5:09:41

Women
Micelle Barton                      4:54:20
Ann Hall                              5:17:25
Keira Henninger                    5:20:57

For complete race results click here.

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Category: Noble Canyon 50k
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