Big Bear Lake, the “909,” windy roads, way above the smog, breezes, family and friends – alive, departed and ailing. Have a good day out there. Run for yourself. Run for those who can’t.
Pam Kalina, race director, set the tone for the 11th Holcomb Valley Trail Run, a 33-mile beauty featuring 13 miles of Pacific Crest Trail and an uphill grind on drab fireroad (with a million-dollar view of the Big Bear Dump) that tested many at mile 21.
During her pre-race instructions on a crisp and clear June 10 at the Meadows Edge Picnic Area, Pam tearfully recounted a litany of personal tragedies to the formerly giddy 200-plus runners, many who showed up for the 15-mile run:
Gary Kalina, her husband and co-RD, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease just before Thanksgiving. He now can run for only about 25 minutes at a time.
Pete Gerhardt, Pam’s father, recently was diagnosed with bone cancer. He’s undergoing radiation treatment.
One of Pam’s close friends has prostate cancer. A female friend and runner has multiple sclerosis. Two weeks ago, Pam’s best friend died of brain cancer.
“I’d like you all to join me in dedicating (this run) to them,’’ Pam said.
Thoughts of PRs and suddenly insignificant muscle aches vanished.
Pam baked 2,000 cookies for the race, and spread them among the seven aid stations.
She told the runners to eat the cookies, and each time they did, to say a prayer.
***
Just starting. Traffic jam on the singletrack. No prob. It’s early. Chill out. Long day ahead.
What’s that rumble? Earthquake? No, it’s Kirk Fortini (7:59:46), 
coming from behind. He lifts his biceps off the dirt and it’s quiet again, save for the patter of high-tech shoes on the dusty trail.
Going up Cougar Crest Trail. Rocky but runnable. Nice tree cover. Climbing 3.8 miles. 800 feet up. Some parts of the trail are wide. Most aren’t. Time to check out the butts in front of you, whether you like it or not. Rosie O’Donnell, thankfully, has declined to enter this year, wearing, as usual, her translucent pink thong. Whew!
The Holcomb Valley 33-miler starts at an elevation of 6,750 feet. The high point is 8,212, just before mile 10. Most of the 33-miler hovers around 7,200. Sounds doable, on paper.
Paper can be deceiving.
The runners start in waves. Five minutes apart. Four waves.
Surf’s up, dude.
Damn! Fast woman on the Cougar Crest Trail. Who is she? No. 72. She’s looking to pass. She’s anxious. Looks strong. Is strong.
Molly Sheridan’s (8:49:05) here. Vegas woman. Ran the Catalina Marathon on St. Paddy’s Day with her daughter. Looking good. Always is.
Errol “Rockett” Jones (7:06:18) has run more than 200 ultras. He’s always smiling, believe it or not.
Gabor Kozinc (7:04:30) turns to Earl on the Cougar Crest Trail and says, “We don’t have the boosters anymore. We’re just cruising.’’
“I know,’’ Earl says. “I’m seven years into this madness.’’
Earl is 57. Gabor is 44.
Youngsters.
Well, Gabor is.
***
Man with a camera, mile 4.5. Elevation 7,300.
It’s Steve Mackel (6:50:32), gonzo running journalist. Longish hair. Zen and the art of hair maintenance.
“This is my first ultra,’’ says Mackel, a Chi running enthusiast filming his first ultra for socalrunning.com.
Efficiency – that’s what chi running is all about, says Mackel. The whole key, he says, is how relaxed you are from the knees to your toes.
Holy Mackel! I forgot my Vaseline. Chafing starts. And it’s not on my knees. No chi voodoo mind trip mojo is gonna get me outta this fix. Ouch! Rosie, I’m sorry about that joke. I like you. I want you. Forgive me.
Gripe time at mile 6. Don’t get veteran ultra-runner Kristen Farley (DNF) wrong. She loves ultras and loves the runners, but like the 405 during rush hour, the trails are getting a bit too crowded, she says.
Farley laments the old days, when one could enter and run a race just days before it was held.
Now, she says, runners have to plan several months ahead or risk not getting a spot – what, you mean ultrarunners have to join the rest of the civilized world, and actually plan crap? Egads!
But Holcomb was Farley’s first ultra, and it’s still her favorite. Besides, Tom Petty’s on the iPod. So all is well in the running world (you like Tom, don’t you Rosie?)
***
“Iron mommie’’ is tearing up Holcomb. Watch closely, and you may see her pass. She’s Renee Roberts (6:07:34, third-place female) of San Diego.
We catch Roberts just before mile 12.3, at 7,800 feet, when the Pacific Coast Trail opens up to a majestic view of the Holcomb Valley.
Gulp.
The view is stunning, just stunning. The entire run alone is worth this view. Really, Rosie, would you like to join us for a spot of tea on this fine lookout?
It’s sunny, but mild. We pass the first drop-bag area at the mile 14.9 aid station, which we will pass again at mile 27.5. We didn’t drop anything, because it’s a drag.
Anyway, there’s a woman up ahead on a shaded portion of the winding, rocky, wild PCT. She’s readjusting her hand-held water bottle.
She is Keira Henninger (6:10:35, fourth overall female), and she has just thrown up.
Too much water? No. The 30-year-old dynamo whose OC friends affectionately call “ H20” for her voracious thirst is experiencing tummy problems.
Keira will be fine, or course, and will go on to break the hearts of many a male as she conquers the course. She is Athena of the Ultraworld, a warrior-goddess of beauty and grace. And no, she’s not available, Rosie. But we are here to please you.
Keira’s army of servants clean up her mess, and she’s off again, blonde-braid-a-flappin’ in the breeze.
Her stomach woes paled in comparison to those suffered by the stunning Jennifer Forman (6:45:07) who spent more time in the bushes than, well, George W. in his fraternity daze. Jennifer is so hot the sun begs for shade when she’s on the trails.
***
We can see the dump.
We’re at mile 19, and there it is: The Big Bear City Dump, down below, near the whitewashed, dried-up Baldwin Lake (Keira drank it all).
Fittingly, the dump is visible from a dry and very rocky section of the PCT trail that, in one short section, features nothing but jagged rocks.
Fittingly, we need to use the bushes.
Luckily, there is no “No Dumping” sign in sight.
***
Kevin Nasman (6:07:25) is training for the SilverMan, the November race in Nevada that is considered one of the toughest full triathlons in the country.
The day before his Holcomb 33-miler, Nasman rode 100 miles on his road bike in Big Bear – a tough course known as “The Ride Around the Bear,’’ which he completed in 8:15.
Now, no iffs, ands or very sore butts about it: Kevin is a 32-year-old ultra maniac. We caught up with him at mile 20, where he was claiming to be tired but looking like a well-rested gazelle.
“Friends and family,’’ the ever-humble and friendly Kevin said when asked what was on his mind.
He must have remembered his Vaseline, because he never said “chafing.’’
Robert Schipsi (6:07:25) said hello to us somewhere around mile 19, then lets us pass.
He would end up falling a total of six times during the run (we told him to lay off the moonshine): three times, he caught himself with his hands. Twice he did a full somersault. And once he landed spread-eagled on the dirt.
Robert soon will be off to Tanzania with his wife for a vacation. Luckily for his health, he won’t be bringing his running shoes. The insects on the ground can breath easier.
***
Up until the fifth aid station at mile 20.8, the Holcomb Valley 33-Mile Trail Run had been nothing but gorgeous – challenging in parts, but one of the prettiest trails we’ve run.
Now, it was welcome to hell – miles 20.8 to 27.5. On paper, this section of the Holcomb 33-miler climbs only 535 feet to a high of 7,400, but the rolling, exposed fireroad that continues after the initial steep ascent makes it seem much more arduous.
Perhaps this portion of the race sucked the life out of us because of the letdown after leaving the scenic Pacific Coast Trail, at the 20.8-mile aid station (which we later rejoined at mile 27.5 to the finish).
Perhaps it was because the climb past mile 20.8 overlooks the dump.
Perhaps it was because at this point in the race, it’s perfectly normal to feel like crap.
We slowly chugged up the miserable, uphill fireroad.
“At least the ground’s soft,’’ Kevin points out, always the softy. Rosie, you too are soft – we mean your heart, of course. Not your body!
At some point during every ultra-marathon, a runner asks him/herself: “Why am I doing this?’’
The time to ask that question at Holcomb came shortly after mile 20.8
Of course, like all ultra-runners, we didn’t answer the question. We popped another electrolyte supplement and kept charging.
***
We never saw the front-runners.
Funny how that happens: We say hello to them at the start, then are lucky to see them at the finish, as they luxuriate in their spoils with a fine Cohiba and a brandy.
Vanilla Ice made a guest celebrity appearance at the post-race festivities. Wait, sorry – it was current trail heartthrob (Fortini is making a big push here) Dean Dobberteen (4:54:29, second place).
Dean is a male, 31, and an elementary school teacher and part-time rickshaw pusher. He has new blond hair highlights and a smile that almost melts the hearts of all the male runners, too.
Dean, we’re not sure if we can forgive you for your new hair, but we bow before your dirty socks at yet another awesome finish.
Who is this Jorge Pacheco (4:31:05) guy? He comes out of nowhere and win the race. Never heard of him. Is he some imposter? We hear his wife, Maria Lemus (6:38:24), can kick his butt on the trails. Guess she went easy on him this time, to make little ol’ Jorge feel better. What a gal!
Speaking of gals, Michelle Barton (5:20:15) won again – and again set a course record for females (beating the old record by about seven minutes). Holcomb was Michelle’s fifth female course record in as many races. Be sure you reread that last sentence. Think about it. Digest it. It should go down better than lukewarm Gu.
Michelle is the real deal – and so is her famous hair, which doubles as a homeless shelter during the cooler winter months in the OC.
Gary Ward (6:18:25), 41, soaked in the post-race buzz of his first ultramarathon.
“At one point in the race, I said to myself, ‘I’m never going to do this again,’’’ Ward said.
Welcome to our world, Gary. And where was he when he said this to himself? You got it: slogging uphill after mile 20.8, just past the Big Bear Dump (there’s a Rosie joke somewhere, but we ain’t touching it).
Not surprisingly, Gary was singing a different tune after the 33-miler: He plans to sign up for another ultra.
“I changed my mind,’’ he explained in that cryptic way that drives all non-runners crazy.
Jim Hanson (6:01:42) is 51 years old. He called Holcomb “challenging.’’ The bigger challenge to us was explaining why we are seven years younger than Jim, but only managed to finish 10 minutes faster.
We suck. Ah well, see you at Mt. Disappointment, Jim – where we hope to not live up to that name. You rock.
Mark Matyazic (5:27:24) finished in a blaze of glory. But where were his legions of adoring female fans? Oh, silly us! There they were, couched between his rippling pecs! We DO need to make that appointment for an optometrist.
The decidedly male Mark barely beat out the legendary Eric Clifton (5:29:10), whose acid-trip leggings sent us on a weeklong Pink Floyd bender. Thanks, Eric. Burp. We needed that.
We never met Marc and Tanya Johnson (7:36:31), buy we figure they’re at item, considering their identical last names and finishing times: “No, honey, you go first.’’ “That’s OK, babe, you can cross the finish before me.’’ “No, I insist!’’ Boy, are we glad we weren’t around for that conversation.
We were puzzled a bit when we crossed the finish line at Holcomb and found ourselves face-to-face with a man holding out a black plate.
Was he asking for change, or empty gel packets?
Was the plate to catch any more errant bodily fluids?
Oh, we finally got it: It was the finishers “medal”! And it nearly weighed as much as Orange County Trail Running legend (and 15-miler) Paul Avedian’s backpack!
Hey, that’s cool. At Holcomb, you can run your race and eat off the prize, too! In Rosie’s case, you can eat the whole damn prize!
Just kidding, dear. We like you. We really do.
Love,
The Donald
***
Written and reported by Greg Hardesty
Posted by Charlie Nickell
Holcomb Valley 33 Mile Summary
When: Sunday, June 10
Where: Big Bear Lake, Calif.
Race Directors: Pam and Gary Kalina
Course description: Out-and-back run in the mountains of Big Bear Lake in Southern California, starting at an elevation of 6,750 and peaking at 8,212. More than 17 miles are on beautiful (and rocky) Pacific Crest Trail singletrack; the rest is on fire/access roads.
Number of finishers: 114
Top three male finishers:
1) Jorge Pacheco 4:31:05
2) Dean Dobberteen 4:54:29
3) Josh Nordell 4:56:31
Top three female finishers:
1) Michelle Barton 5:20:15
2) Ronni Wilde 5:52:39
3) Renee Roberts 6:07:34
www.holcombvalleytrailruns.com
