It’s been a long few weeks at INKnBURN ramping up new shirt production to meet demand so we’re a tad behind on a few recaps. Here’s a snippet of coverage to come.

LEONA DIVIDE 50 MILER

That was a first. I had never heard of an Out-Out-Out & Back ultramarathon before but leave it to RD Keira Henninger to expand my horizons with the 2010 Leona Divide 50-Mile Endurance Run. When a race is commandeered by Ken and Barbie, you would expect serious fluff: pink engineless trucks, androgynous volunteers with perfect bodies and plastic food with fake labels. The 2010 Leona Divide 50 should’ve made for a tantalizing tea party. However, nothing could be further from reality.

According to DMV records, the new LD50 course eliminated front-end fire road and replaced the deleted mileage with rolling PCT singletrack and a titanium-packed access road on the back end. I can’t speak for everyone, but I swear Keira took out 17 feet on one side of the course and added 6 miles on the other end. Each aid station, past the historical turnaround, resembled a checkout line where the cashier leaves for a cigarette break just as you summit the front of the line. The manager asks nicely if you’d be a sport and move to the next register. Then, like “Groundhog Day,” it happens all over again. The 2010 LD 50 was full of surprises including the Velasco Sheridan Peak fake aid station, streakers and brilliant orange flowers in an adjacent city (Lancaster) that held previous reports of zero life. Oh, this was to be a doozy.

Click here for the Mens Leona Divide 50 tech shirt

Click here for the Womens Leona Divide 50 tech shirt

Click here for the Mens Leona Divide 50 Run or Die tech shirt

Click here for the Womens Leona Divide 50 Run or Die tech shirt

ORIFLAMME 50k

Upon news of the inaugural running of the Oriflamme 50k, I was elated to discover that somebody secured a prime-time corporate sponsor. What a perfect fit! To think that a manufacturer of a fake, long-lasting fireplace log would pony up for an endurance run was so darn appropriate. But, as fast as my fuse was lit, I was stamped out like a smoldering cigarette butt. After a quick Google search, I discovered that Oriflamme didn’t manufacture anything and had no affiliation with billion-dollar conglomerate Duraflame; darn, no 10-pound logs in the goodie bag!

What could Oriflamme mean? It didn’t sound friendly or inviting, much less a place to tarnish my new pair of K-SWISS gang-banging trail shoes. As usual for ultra running, Oriflamme would turn out to be a nasty canyon trail adjacent the barren Anza-Borrego desert — another perfect venue for blowing quads or developing plantar fasciitis. At least it wasn’t the Youraflamme 50k. I’m not sure I could deal with early morning Ben Hian handing out race-day cardigan sweaters.

Click here for the Mens Oriflamme 50k Run or Die tech shirt

Click here for the Womens Oriflamme 50k Run or Die tech shirt

OLD GOATS 50 MILER

Have you ever seen a goat that didn’t look old? Even the kids (baby goats) look freakishly weathered. How do you tell the age of a goat anyway (Steve Harvey not included)? If somebody “gets your goat,” what does that even mean? Sounds vaguely mountain folksy and creepy to me. I don’t even own a goat, so I’m not sure how anybody would “get mine.” If I had a goat, I would give it to you. Goat cheese is for designer salads but not something normally associated with singletrack. Are goats even allowed in Orange County, California (not counting the Leisure World retirement community and Baz)? I don’t think they’re approved as household pets by any homeowner association. These facts don’t matter.

None of this stopped the actually very-spry-for-his-age Steve Harvey from orchestrating the fourth-annual Old Goats 50-Miler, one of the toughest endurance events in Southern California. Yes folks, from the same demented mind that brought you the Chimera 100 comes the OG50 in IMAX 3D. Get prepared for a Candy Store, a few parking lots, Holy (Christ!) Jim and Modjeska Peak. This race has a bit of everything, except a real goat — once again, if you don’t count Steve. He’s gonna kill us!

More to follow…