Receipt of the PCT50 upgrade CD generated, “Oh goodie, version 2.0,” and speculations about what the new race software would entail. Would PCT50 version 2.0 be PlayStation, DS or Wii compatible? Would this be a virtual ultra that could be viewed and DNFd, from the comfort of home?

Due to a deadly military helicopter crash on the Pacific Crest Trail, days before May’s scheduled PCT 50 Miler, the race transitioned to Cuyamaca State Park and ran on sections of Scott Mills’ tough San Diego 100 course. November’s PCT50 version 2.0 was held partly  to commemorate the fallen marine pilots and also to satisfy the ultra purists who still needed to challenge the legendary PCT50 out-and-back in 2009.

All the course details are not covered in this report. You can read about these in our 2007 & 2008 coverage. Note: dirt, rocks and roots haven’t moved. However, there will be elaboration on a number of standout items along with the normal podium finisher commentary and disjointed trail thoughts.

Typically descriptions about aid stations are lightweight, however, at mile 13.9, aid station #2 was so star studded with ultra talent that we’ll elaborate until the cows come home (What does that saying even mean? Where do cows actually go?). Where else could you possible find such a New York Yankees’ lineup? Scott Mills, Jeremy Scarbrough, Paul Escola, Angela Shartel and  Boy Toy, Pam Everett, Jim Evanko, Renee Roberts, Steve and Jenn Cunningham, and guru George Velasco. When these people start asking, “What can we get you? What do you need?” the natural response feels like “how about some flipping running tips and a few of your trophies?” It was like having Tiger Woods (when not dodging his wife’s 2 iron) offering to help you with swing tips at the local public links. We get all tingly inside; true, we’re hungry.

With that, what the heck happened to aid station #2 and the traditional Dale’s Kitchen? This year, the appliances were off and in their place were extremely odd elves representing what had now become “Santa’s Kitchen.” Candy canes, garlands and other FedCo Christmas novelty items lined the trails to and from the overly happy people manning the Accelerade, Vaseline and S-Caps. Their silly hats and neverending laughter brought up the question, “Had the race organizers solicited help from fired Disneyland park characters?” You know the answer to that.

Asking Pam for trail directions or distance to the next aid station was like trying to make a phone call and speak directly to whoever’s in charge of the Internet. “Excuse me, I’d like to talk to the World Wide Web.” It all seemed a bit off. When Pam was asked about the distance to Rudolf’s (Todd’s) Cabin, she replied, “Oh sweetie, what race is this? Honey, have an orange blueberry muffin, organic chocolate chip cookie or some Arctic sea salt.”  Wow, Pammy’s gonna be a huge hit at the senior home. With the body of a 25-year-old, Pam is speedy fast and “chicks” us in every race.

Scott Mills oversampled the eggnog and morphed from all-business “General Mills” to let’s-see-how-many-jokes-I-can-crack-per-hour Scotty. We’re not sure if Scott thought  he was at a race or just attending some kind of outdoor Christmas cheerleader’s pilates class with Keira, Pam and Angela as instructors. Reports are sketchy, but he was spotted sweeping the exposed PCT50 ridges while begging passing runners for half-eaten Twinkies. Think group intervention.

2009 Noble Canyon 50K winner Angela Shartel was hanging out with the eclectic crew and  scarfing down all the best food items while waiting to pace anybody or wild animal that could keep up with her fresh legs. The possibilities were narrowed down to three runners and a mustang in heat, so she picked up Tracy Dimino at Todd’s Cabin and corralled her to the finish line for the overall female win and the 1989 used red Dino Ferrari. Afterwards, Angela ate The Run Down’s (TRD) slice of pizza and headed home for an herbal wrap and full body massage; just another day as an elite ultra runner. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

After a nasty uphill spill, normal pole setter Tommy Nielsen called it a day and re-routed to assist the toy-making crew at Santa’s Kitchen, rounding off the eccentric mix of jubilant personnel.  Conversely, when TRD takes a trail spill, we’re moving so slow that Search & Rescue has time to pre-deploy airbags to absorb the shock. When Tommy falls, he’s motoring so fast the rocks try to get out of his way. We’re in different sports and have no idea what Tommy is actually doing. Even with a smashed quad, Tommy can outrun 98% of any field. How many 100s has he won or finished in the top five? But, why bother risking further injury when there’s fresh apple pie a la mode and snappy waitress’s right around the corner? Smart man, that Tommy Boy.

Aid station # 3, Todd’s Cabin, at mile 17.7 with the joyful rappel down, quickly followed by the vertical climb out, never fails to irritate every runner while providing the addictive torture this crowd enjoys. There were more medical personal, dressed in the fashion rage orange emergency outfits, at Todd’s cabin than at most hospitals. If you’re going to pass out, do it here. A quick shot of adrenaline to the heart and a few jolting kilowatts from the electric paddles and you’re good to go.

Who invented this ludicrous product and why are we slurping it down? How did Gu morph from being disgusting slime used to make fake buggers to becoming an energy fuel for

endurance athletes, utilized at the most heightened moments of physical exertion? How did legends like Ben Hian, Tracy Moore, Scott Mills and other ultra-elite runners nail so many course records without these cleverly branded packets of gutter sludge? This no-sense product makes us sick to our tummies. TRD is done with it. We’ll explain why. Have a seat, it’s complicated.

Only a few years ago, if you ran in an evil street marathon, Gu was handed out, one time only, at mile 18. How did we go from that simple practice to choking down one of these mush puppies every 30 to 60 minutes over a seven-to-fourteen-hour competitive run?

Let’s look at Gu from a non-practical side. The messy packets are usually opened in areas with no trash cans, where littering is a felony and can get you banned from an event. Therefore, runners are forced to re-stuff crumpled and leaking Gu packets back into pockets and handheld pouches, totally contaminating everything they touch with sticky slime. There’s no proven technique of keeping the messy substance off fingers or handhelds. Users have to waste valuable water to wash sticky body parts so they don’t attract bees, homeless people, or other pollen-seeking insects. Isn’t hydrating hard enough without this additional challenge?

We do love the brilliant trash leash invention created to deal with those nifty Clif gels. Here’s an idea. Why don’t we just keep all of our trash on leashes? This could eliminate the need to walk pets as well as the hassle of taking those silly trashcans out to the curb each week.

Seriously, how can Gu be what your body needs during the absolutely most challenging physical state it’s ever been in? Aren’t we supposed to eat well when we’re exhausted and need more energy? I don’t recall my doctor ripping out a prescription for Gu to deal with my lethargic feelings. “Oh, just suck down one of these packets 48 times daily along with three gallons of water. You’ll be all fired up to beat your kids. Don’t worry about the potential side effects of Type 1 Diabetes, hyperglycemia, insomnia, and an overwhelming urge to watch The Antiques Road Show.

And what’s with all the various Gu flavors and chemical combinations? We didn’t even know strawberries had caffeine! What’s the next big flavor? Artichoke Eggplant with Crystal Meth? Why not stop eating solid food altogether? It would make grocery shopping easier, as well as free up unused pantry space to use as an extra bedroom for annoying in-law visits.

The bottom line is, the whole Gu thing is nothing but another corporate plot to bilk runners of disposable income. It’s like the ongoing Gatorade scam of offering one flavor masked behind goofy names (“Rain,” Frost,” or “G2”) colored with cancer-causing chemicals. TRD is out of the fog and will be eating Taco Bell bean burritos for fuel during races. We strongly recommend running in front of us.

Beware! There must be severe plate tectonic movement in the Laguna Mountains. (For those who don’t watch the Science Channel or dropped out of school in 3rd grade, that means the ground is moving.) In the 2007 PCT50, the 25-mile turnaround was ½ mile farther than this year’s fool proof, security riddled cardboard box. (Question: How did race organizers manage to acquire an Iranian voting box?) With our nine of hearts playing card ballot, we quickly voted for Akmad Hamid Yakur, who was immediately assassinated by the incumbent president. In the 2008 PCT50, Fred Pollard manned the 25-mile turnaround that was roughly ½ mile in front of this year’s turnaround. Plus, the finish line was moved back a quarter mile from previous years. If the whole scenario seems confusing, well, it is. In the end, it makes no difference but we like to poke fun at inconsistencies. Each runner, aside from Kirk Fortini (who snubbed the race), ran the exact same distance and was measured accordingly.

Any one of 10 runners could have won the 2009 PCT50. Without the commentary of a midpoint turnaround source, it’s hard to call the shifting and jockeying of the lead running positions but we’ll give it a Clif Shot. When front runner Tom Crawford #34 passed TRD, going the opposite direction, of course, we couldn’t believe his condition. Tom looked like he’d just stepped out of a Nike catalog. His shorts, shirt and hair all appeared to be freshly dry-cleaned. Running up a section where most runners power walk, Tom smiled and said for the fiftieth time “good job” which in our mind always denotes work, which is something he wasn’t doing much of. At roughly 30 miles, course record holder Ben Hian #46 was a few minutes behind Tom followed by a smattering of really fast, talented runners.

Marty Ellison, fresh off his Noble Canyon 50K, win looked snappy in his signature flower-patterned Dolfins. 2007 PCT50 overall second place finisher Jerry Armstrong appeared strong and stylish in his TRD/ULTRA RUNNER tech shirt. Tracy Moore was doing his normal “oh, I’m just trying to make it thru another day” while internally working his diabolical strategy to lull competitors to sleep and politely pass everyone the last 10 miles. Tom Crawford finished first in what would be an acceptable 50K time of 7:07. Snakeman and Bad Rat (don’t snakes eat rats?) Ben Hian followed shortly in 7:30—good for second place, and Mr. Cool just smoothing into the run Bad Rat Tracy Moore (right) would steal third in 7:33. Tracy’s humility kills us. If TRD came in third, we’d commission a statue regardless of cost.

For the women, 2009 Noble Canyon 50K third place female Tracy Dimino utilized pacer Angela Shartel and powered all the way, uncontested for her first of many ultra wins coming in at 8:54. Tracy crushed her nearest competitor by over an hour. Tracy is seen here predicting TRD’s finishing time. Is that overall second or twenty-two hours and twenty-two minutes? Argh! Megan Yu (right) took second in 10:06, a full thirty minutes ahead of third-place finisher, Jeanni Wheeler (left) at 10:31.  A big congratulation to all the women who keep proving Keira’s motto “Silly boys, ultra running is for girls.” Hey guys, you got chicked!

We filed the necessary state paperwork to change Iso Yucra’s (8:56) name to “TT” for Top Ten. Has there been a race where Iso didn’t stroll across the finish line in 10th or better? It doesn’t seem to matter whether he’s in race mode or using an event for a long training run, the results are the same. His raw talent is inspiring. Iso’s street-to-rail transition work with Marty Ellison is no secret and we’re wondering when Iso will waste some serious time to help train The Run Down. TT is the hombre!

Robert Schipsi (9:45) is just plain sneaky fast. Maybe it’s because he lives in Laguna Beach that he does so well in the Laguna Mountains. Whatever the correlation the net result on Saturday was overall 15th which is strong by any standard. We’re proud to have taught Robert nothing about the sport.

When TRD met up with Lambert (LT100) Timmermans (11:13) and PCT50 female record holder Michelle Barton (11:13) they appeared to be prepping for an American Idol audition instead of running a grueling 50-mile ultramarathon.  Michelle was singing with her arms held out like a kid pretending to fly while LT chatted away like a misplaced white rapper. For a fleeting moment, TRD felt like Ryan Seacrest but then quickly canceled that thought knowing we preferred women. Both were unaware that having fun and goofing around isn’t allowed in these daunting races. However, the iMichelle and LT were running for the fun of it. Their laughter and positive attitudes were contagious. More than a few runners commented on how the two comedians had helped them pick their spirits up and put the race into perspective.

Michelle and LT are wicked fast and can light up any course. Michelle has more ultra wins then we have friends living with their parents. LT is an alien who could easily cross the PCT50 finish line, then run the course again: self supported. He’s truly an intergalactic runner (maybe ET would be better initials). On Saturday, TRD discovered that both Michelle and LT are also wicked funny and that can sometimes be more important than grinding away constantly watching one’s back and Garmin.

Chris Robinson (11:17) blew me away in early November’s Saddleback Marathon. A classy guy, Chris caught me at the top of the Holy Jim climb, wished me good luck and then left me in the dust and loneliness of the harsh North Main Divide. On Saturday, I would return the trail etiquette by classlessly passing Chris at mile 49 without even a whisper. Listening to Rossette Stone’s Croatian Language CD on my iPod, I couldn’t figure out how to say “excuse me fine sir, mind if I pass” in Russian. That’s the only lame excuse for being a turd I can come up with. How hard is it to say hey bro, give a pat on the ass (hey, it is the Laguna Mountains) and move on; TRD party foul and time to chug a beer.

Charla Bland (11:29) and I played cat and mouse for most of the day. Both of us, having severe intestinal issues, would alternate restroom breaks and continually re-pass one another every few miles. The scenario was reminiscent of the movie “Groundhog Day.” We eventually introduced ourselves and collectively begged runners for unused wipies or spare, unwanted clothing. On this particular day, we both more resembled wild dingos returning from a chili cook-off then ultra runners. We sincerely apologize to the Laguna Mountain wild animals that have the biological task of remarking their PCT territories with their own scent. Next year we’re both running in INKnBURN polyblend “Depends” or “Swimmers.”

After the TRD stalking incident during the Noble Canyon 50K, Kam Senthong (12:44) hired body guard Jarone Blanchette Jr. (12:45) for PCT50 trail protection. Calling Jarone “Junior” is like desrcibing Mt. Everest as a nice hill with a few short climbs. Jarone is the size of most Pine Trees lining the PCT. Jarone finished strong while all the time scowering behind rocks and brush for possible unfriendlies.

Very nice of Lady GaGa tribute runner to make the event. Shelli Sexton (right) (12:53) stole the coveted PCT50 Bling Bling title from Dirty Girl Xy Weiss and then went clubbing in Escondido with Denis Rodman and Robert Downey Jr.

Have you heard of Taco Tuesday? Jill Childers (13:05) has her own version; it’s called Trot Tuesday where Jill runs to and from work for a total of 28.4 miles. It looks like she may be the replacement for exiting David Goggins. Jill swears she showers and changes clothes before hitting her desk, but we’ve received conflicting reports on that from HR.

After running into each other at the first four aid stations, Keizo Amakawa (13:10) and I bonded the Japanese way by formally introducing ourselves. My wife is Japanese, so I naturally California Roll within the Asian inner circle. The PCT50 was Keizo’s first ultramarathon and deserves credit for choosing a tough race and finishing with honor. Keizo and I will have to perform the traditional trail Karate sparing match to determine who will be Sensei or grasshopper. Yikes, TRD leaves deep footprints on rice paper. Does anybody even get that reference? Yes we know it’s a David Carradine Chinese thing.

The classiest guy we know, Fred Pollard, (13:48) no doubt will complete his 4,000 straight ultra while saying “hi” to every competitor by their first name. If there’s an unofficial spokesperson or statesmen for the sport of ultrarunning, it’s Fred. I’m not sure who has more completed ultras, Fred or Dan Brenden (11:19), but the statistics on these guys are staggering.

Although Jody Van Zanten (14:07) and I are members of the So Cal Trail Headz, we didn’t meet until the PCT50.  That makes absolutely no sense. But then again, neither does this report.

Corrinne Wallace (14:20) and Pete Vara (14:20) of Dawn Patrol teamed up and conquered the PCT50, crossing the finishing line tandem, only to be informed that this race wasn’t the Trans Rockies and they actually could have run separately. As ultra runners, run coaches and tri-athletes, it’s tough for the duo to keeping all the races and venues organized.

Escondido’s Keith Swiatkowski (Keithski) wouldn’t run on Saturday, but showed support by congratulating runners crossing the finish line. Due to a “Water Board” exam, Keith had to sit this one out. Asked if the local water was safe to drink, Keith’s reply was “not if treated by me.” He’s a shoe-in for Badwater. I made a mental note not to borrow H2O from Keith on any long runs. Keith completed a solo 38 mile run in the Saddleback Mountains on the following Monday for a self-created birthday present. Don’t adults go to dinner for their birthdays? I’m keeping an eagle eye on Keith as he moves up the So. Cal ultra leader board. Where did he get that cool window decal?

Gina Natera, Ted Liao, and Cheryl Zwarkowski made up the sweeping crew and officially won the TRD triple award for hardest last names to pronounce, remember, or write properly. It would be a ton easier on our TRD editorial staff if Jeff Smith did next year’s ribbon removal.

Time to say “farewell” to everyone’s favorite ultra couple, Jeremy and Kara Scarbrough as they relocate to Japan. It seems like yesterday they were kids riding tricycles in the cul-de-sac and eating backyard snails for carbs. Jeremy and Kara are Southern California ultra staples. Kara recently completed the Javalina Jundred (that name and course kinda bugs) while Jeremy completed the Ozark Trail 100 Mile Endurance Run on November 7th. Though definitely strong armed by Scott Mills, both religiously volunteer at every San Diego ultra when they’re not competing. Their presence makes a difference, and adds volumes to every event. They’re ultra runners.

Because TRD is terrified of guns, RPGs, tents with bug access and people trying to kill us, guys like Jeremy have to do the dirty work and protect us as a Marine ready to answer the bell. We salute Jeremy and all his fellow soldiers for their service and dedication to the United States they unselfishly provide. Are we clear? Are we crystal clear?  We’re not serious too often (like ever) but on this note, make no mistake. However, there’s a slight possibility the Scarbroughs are also attempting to move up in the international ultra results by racing against very polite people half their size. We’ll have to wait and see how the sushi plays out.

And come to think of it, with email, Facebook, Twitter and Skype, nobody can disappear regardless of distance. Those nifty jets with cramped seats and lousy movies also help.

The Run Down and our partner INKnBURN would like to thank all the wonderful folks who braved a few test TRD tech shirts on Saturday. Being the craziest runners of them all, Lambert Timmermans (LT100) would wear his ULTRA RUNNER tech shirt for the entire race. LT100 will be running one 100-miler each month in 2010 and The Run Down will be covering his nutty escapades thru this uncharted domain.

Colorado’s Jerry Armstrong (9:20) was kind enough to wear his TRD/ULTRA RUNNER shirt from Penny Pines to the finish line. He did email us a PayPal appearance fee invoice which we immediately reported as SPAM. Jerry along with Jason Chilson (9:24) will be participating in the Run the Coast in November 2010 to raise money and awareness for juvenile diabetes. TRD will be covering the event and will conversely be sending a PayPal invoice to Jerry that he’ll certainly send to the trash bin. It’s all cancels out.

The behind-the-scene logistics that go into pulling off an ultramarathon and supporting the runners are mind boggling. A crew of a dozen United States Navy personnel manned the #1 Fred Canyon aid station at mile 6.6, as well as assisted with road crossings, food prep and staffing the finishing area. In an extraordinary effort (made necessary when the brainy Forest Service closed vehicle access to Fred Canyon) they hauled, on foot, all the supplies uphill over a ¾ mile fire road. If you’ve ever gone up or down that road, it’s as steep and rough as it gets. The Navy crew was recruited by Jerry England (also in the Navy), who finished in 12:15 alongside his brother, Dylan (12:15). We formally salute all you guys and gals of the Armed Services but not completely confident we’re using the correct hand.

Neither Kristen Trujillo nor Deborah Acosta would complete the race. The Run Down has nothing to say but congratulations! The PCT50 is no picnic and both have been to the dance before. Kristen completed the grueling 2009 Coastal Challenge and Debra has a few ultra finishes of her own. In this sport, failure is not showing up; Mike Kennedy.

The PCT50 also raised $1,500.00 for the Wounded Warrior Project that supports families who have lost loved ones defending our country and the trails we travel. Thanks again to Todd Leigh (15:12) for the use of your cabin year after year. We’re looking for a nice family cabin for our summer vacation. We’ll shoot Todd some dates and get him a nice motel room in El Cajon.

The PCT50, bar none, includes some of the most diverse terrain of any 50-mile races in the United States. From forest, to desert, to cliff running to meadow blasting, the race offers up some of the best scenery California has to offer. The 2,000 foot sheer rock cliffs on the leading edge of the Anza Borrego desert are indescribable. Must be seen to be believed. RD John Martinez is a total pro and makes certain the race comes off flawlessly. There never seems to be a problem or legitimate runner gripe aside from the lack of valet parking (hey, we’re from the OC). If you’re reading this recap from out of state and are considering traveling outside your comfort zone for a California ultra, the PCT50 should be on the top of your bucket list.

Having dinner with some new acquaintances a few days after the PCT50, the inevitable question popped up. “Why would people run 50 miles?” The short answer went something like this. We run 50 miles, in part, to be alone, and escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We run 50 miles to relax, stay fit and feel better about ourselves and others. We run 50 miles because we enjoy it and it makes us feel good. Very witty Jessica Riester, who posed the question, paused for a second, tilted her head and responded “Isn’t that what day spas are for?” A luffa scrub, hot oil massage and potential happy ending. Interesting, we had never considered that!

On the drive home, shotgun passenger Michelle Barton and I pondered a few pressing questions. How is it that we peed every ten minutes on the trail, but after crossing the finish line and downing a gallon of water, why aren’t we able to go to the bathroom for the next three hours? Should people who have just completed running 50 miles be allowed to immediately get behind the wheel of an automobile? Shouldn’t Body Glide be called Crotch Glide? Who’s cuter, Karno or Goldie? Can a vegan find anything to eat at a Chevron station? Should Michelle be texting with Akos Konyas about his recent medical procedure? BUTT, the most penetrating question of all . . .  is it normal to run nonstop from sunrise to sunset for a tech shirt, a piece of metal and a few bites of pizza?

Think about it, every day people robotically go to work at sunrise and return at sunset. Most of these people only tolerate their jobs, eat tons of cold office pizza, and consume caffeine-laced soft drinks in an attempt to stay interested and awake. They’re involved in a life ultra of epic proportion! The negative physical side effects and mental boredom of this accepted practice are omnipresent. It raises the question again. Is it normal to run nonstop from sunrise to sunset for a tech shirt, a piece of metal and a few bites of pizza? The answer remains “no,” but it should be.

See everyone back for more punishment on May 8th, 2010.

The Men who didn’t get “Chick’d”

1) Tom Crawford / 7:07
2) Ben Hian / 7:30
3) Tracy Moore / 7:33

The Women

1) Tracy Dimino / 8:54
2) Megan Yu / 10:06
3) Jeanni Wheeler / 10:31

Complete Race Day Results Click Here

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