2007 December | TheRunDown.net

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The inaugural 2007 Noble Canyon 50k is in the books. Hosted by the San Diego Bad Rats, we originally surmised it was some type of road rally orchestrated by the local Hells Angles chapter. Then we were informed that the Bad Rats are a San Diego based endurance ultra-marathon group and we pondered the name. Bad Rats, hum… Was the name redundant? Are there actually any good rats? Chuck E. Cheese maybe, but he still gets his grubby claws too close to my son’s rear – and, frankly, he looks pretty creepy. Sure, rats have serious endurance. They do have a tendency to eat on the run while urinating in the company of others, so maybe the whole nomenclature makes sense. Orange County (home of TRD) doesn’t boast too many bad rats; the Home Owner Association Aesthetic Committees don’t allow flat-colored creatures that eat holes in salmon stucco. If “The OC” had a rodent based running club it would be called something like the Materialistic Mice. Our logo would be Stewart Little sitting in a Jacuzzi sipping apple martinis. But OK, we’re ultra junkies and we’ll run in any organized event so it was time to go hang with San Diego’s rat pack. A new event, put on by 100-miler veteran Scott Mills and a bunch of running legends like Tom Nielsen and Tracy Moore, was too tempting to pass up. Would Bad Rat “I make the pack look good” Dean Dobberteen’s van be utilized as a mobile Habitrail with exercise wheel and drip bottle? We’ve heard it’s a real rat’s nest in there.

OK, so it’s 7 a.m. and Scott Mills offers up the infamous words “You’re off” and like flood lights hitting the sewer drain, 150 rats scurry out the dirt parking lot toward the blacktop road which feeds into the Noble Canyon trail head.

Fast-forward, it’s 7:06 a.m. and everyone is now racing for second place. The legend himself, Eric Clifton, made the aggressive decision to end this thing early; he’s allowed to do that. An all-out effort runner, Eric isn’t one to pace himself. If he crash and burns, so be it. Eric runs the race he feels like running. With cool temps and overcast skies, the new Inland Empire resident was gone and nobody was stupid, brave or skilled enough to catch up with fancy pants. First place was ancient history by 7:30 a.m. Who would take home the silver, bronze and DFL?

We like the new street marathon trend in these trail ultras. It’s like driving your “never touching dirt” H2 on the freeway. With all the trail gear, it’s fun looking tough while floating around on groomed pavement. The transition from street to trail is hilarious and demonstrates how much more energy trail running requires compared to street endeavors (relax, street pace maniacs). My Garmin readings went from 8- to 10-minute miles within seconds of hitting the most basic dirt single-track. Sure, I was picking up Greg Hardesty’s discarded scrunchies but the going was noticeably slower.

The first 1½ mile of trail consists of a gradual single-track climb with a good mix of technical and manicured terrain. Once the initial incline ends, you have approximately two miles of soft gradual downhill running that includes some of the most runable sections of the Noble Canyon trail. If you’re going to pick up the pace, this is the section. Keep in mind you have to return in four to seven hours to navigate this stretch going the opposite direction (that’s up). This decline section is sanctuary in the early goings and rather hellish on the return. On the way down, all we could hear was runner chit chat but on the way back with runners in clear view of one another, you could hear a salt tab drop; fatigue has a way of silencing the crowd.

The technical section that greets you at approximately mile 3.5 is classic. Dancing around the various rocks reminded me of hopping through tide pools searching for sea urchins, spare change and lost wedding rings with my children.

The first aid station at mile 5.8 is one of the most remote aid stations we’ve ever encountered. There isn’t a road or vehicle within miles. Rumor has it that it’s a 1½-mile hike from the cars to the actual spot where the volunteers set up shop. Who got that detail? It appeared that the local high school track team was manning this remote outpost. Did their coach (who ran in the event) make them volunteer as part of some demented training regime? Were their parents punishing them, or was this some form of misguided detention for ditching Mrs. Rudenbaucher’s algebra class? The great thing about kids is the fact that they’re kids. No doubt they all had a complete blast dragging the coolers to and from the access point. Ask half the “adult” runners we know to walk ½ mile to a trail head and you’re speaking to the hand.

The trail between the first aid station and the 11.3-mile Penny Pines aid station is some of the nicest forest/canyon trail running in San Diego. There’s a creek in sections that sure sounds wonderful every hundred years when it actually rains enough to fill the darn thing. The trail has a fair mix of technical and non-technical sections but it’s a dicey, slow uphill grind.

As eluded to in TRD’s re-cap of the PCT50, Penny Pines is sadly enough not a bodacious porn star as the name would indicate but instead an expanse of burned-out pasture consisting of blackened tree trunks and scrubby chaparral. If this were Orange County, they would’ve ripped out the lifeless trees and replaced them with fake palm tree cell sites; seems reasonable. I mean, if God burned down the joint it must have been for a solid reason. That reason would most likely be improved cell reception as most people more closely monitor their cell phones “number of bars” versus the number of shotguns and ammunition being stored by their withdrawn teenager. Oh well, at least they’ll have full signal strength to call relatives with an accurate body count. Who knew, “He seemed so normal with the black clothes and swastika tattoos.” By the way, social tangents/rants are provided at no additional charge to the calling party.

Did anybody catch Hardesty’s shirt? Yep, he did it again and wore the Noble Canyon 50k event technical shirt during the actual race. Let’s get TRD crystal clear on this topic. If you go to Disneyland and buy a Mickey Mouse shirt, do you immediately put it on and look like a complete tourist? No! When you’re wearing the just- released race day shirt in a race that nobody has run yet you’re actually messing with the future. Is Greg the human time machine? His hair does look like Jeremy Irons in “The Time Machine.” Did Greg already finish the race and forget to put the past back the same way he found it? I really hate when people mess with my future especially when I’m in the processes of completely screwing it up on my own.

As I sit in the back of my wife’s SUV writing away, she’s in Starbucks getting a Venti (they’re inventing words in that place). They sell Starbucks T-shirts in this establishment. Yes, they do. Is my wife going into Starbucks wearing a Starbucks T-shirt so they know she wants a coffee? We all know she’s in Starbucks to get a soy mocha, two pumps, whip just like we know that the people in these races are actually in these races. The shirt is beyond redundant, too clean and has no distance testing for rashes or wear-ability! It’s a gamble. If you just can’t help yourself, go put on a MARS 50k Coolmax sleeveless and tell everyone you’re in the process of competing in that event and just blast off.

Pam Everett almost ran me over twice in Keira Henninger’s garage-parked, detailed-twice-a-week Range Rover. I’m not sure but I don’t think it should be allowed to let ultra friends borrow strange cars while driving around unfamiliar terrain looking for oddly placed aids stations sandwiched between awkward street crossings. It’s an accident waiting to happen. Plus, for those of you who don’t follow Pam’s trail misdirectional escapades (you should) it wouldn’t be unheard for her to take a hard turn right off the Sunrise Highway and drop 3,000 feet directly into the Anza Borrego Desert. You can catch Pam’s new reality/survival show on the Discovery Channel at 8 p.m. Tuesdays; “Woman vs. Trail Markings.” In next week’s episode, Pam will travel 600 miles to Utah’s Moab region where she’ll get lost in a 10k street run and transform the sprint into a 100k life or death exercise.

The section from the Penny Pines aid station to the Big Laguna Lake Trail aid station at mile 16.3 boasts the best views on the course right from the world-famous PCT (Pacific Crest Trail). Of course, you’ll be too blown out to notice and too time focused to stop and smell the roses. The Anza Boreggo desert will resemble 12th grade and be somewhat of a bong blur. This section of the PCT resembles a kiddy roller coaster of sorts and if you can cruise into the Big Laguna Lake Trail aid stations with gas in the tank, the rest of the course is predominantly flat or downward in nature. Tracy Moore (7th at the 2007 WS100) greeted me as I stumbled into the aid station and immediately handed me a gel. That’s like having Tiger Woods hand you a golf ball and telling you to “give it a rip.” Doesn’t matter if Tracy hands you KY jelly and some tacks, you’re going to eat it and say thanks.

Not sure if anyone noticed but when Tracy’s aid station duties were completed, he ran 17 miles back to the finishing area for fun. Maybe Pam Everett side-swiped his car; reports are scetchy.

The rolling single track from the Big Laguna Lake aid station back to the Penny Pines aid station (21.6) is the friendliest running on the entire course. We enjoyed dodging the 300 hikers going the opposite direction in their annual “walk too far with the family” Mecca. This section tracks directly around the shores of massive Lake Laguna. It’s pretty flat here. If it wasn’t flat the water would spill out of the lake; those attributes go hand in hand.

OK, did Michelle Barton almost become the first female to win a So Cal ultra outright for the second time? Yes, she did. We don’t think there are many better 50k female runners in the U.S. (maybe the world) than Michelle Barton. Passing Jerry Armstrong at the Penny Pines aid station (21.6) while he was playing Candy Land with 3-year-old son Jalen, Michelle would never look back. Jerry wasn’t about to chase after the caffeinated, couscous-fueled Energizer Bunny. You would need to climb inside a truck tire and roll down a cliff to have any chance of catching the iMichelle rocketing downhill. It’s an utter waste of time and energy. You’ve been “chicked,” so deal with it. Michelle finished overall second in 4:54:20 while most competitors had many miles remaining to navigate.

And, better look over your shoulder. Ann Hall (5:17:25), Keira Henninger, Anne Langstaff (6:11:56) and a host of other trail babes are all closing in. This isn’t male-dominated football anymore.

The TRD reports aren’t usually about the authors unless we do something really stupid that we feel others may benefit from; what not to do, don’t hang out with us…

At mile 1 (yes, that’s one) I had this burning sensation to go to the bathroom, but couldn’t. After almost ruling out VD, I tried not to think about the strange feeling but the tingling sensation quickly went from interesting to uncomfortable. From mile 1 to 15, I stopped at least 20 times trying to remedy the situation, but to no avail. My mind couldn’t make sense of the problem. Since the beginning of the race, I had consumed almost 100 ounces of water and didn’t release any fluids back into the wild (a specialty of Keira’s). I felt bloated and out of sync. I drifted back into my abusive childhood on one of those brutal family vacations where dad drove some insane distance in the beat up station wagon. Knowing you had to go pee but not willing to pull over, he would make you sit bent over in excruciating pain until the next gas station, which was absolutely nowhere in sight.

Finally, at mile 20, I sat down on a wood log and was able to partially relieve myself. In a blink of an eye, the situation went from painful to disturbing. Oh good, blood! As if the run wasn’t hard enough, I was bleeding somewhere inside my finely tuned machine; classic dehydration or maybe worse? Perplexed, I pondered “How did I start a race dehydrated? Should I continue? Am I going to die in San Diego next to a lake the size of Mike Kennedy’s Newport Beach pool?”

The smart thing to do would’ve been to immediately stop, sit down and start guzzling water. The smart thing to do would’ve been to DNF. The smart thing to do would’ve been to put my family ahead of my pride. The smart thing to do would’ve been taking up lawn bowling instead of this running ordeal.

Fortunately, the final 11 miles of the Noble Canyon 50K is predominantly downhill. The bladder pain with the downhill jaring, while annoying, was bearable at slow speeds. Some hikers and a blind man asked if it would be OK to pass. Of course, I told them to pound trail. But, no PR today.

With the San Diego 100 only a few weeks away, Keira Henninger was just going to “take it easy” and put on a few base miles. Normally we fall for this tactic but not after the fake Mt. Diss DNF. Feeling strong and rested at mile 16, Keira decided to crank it up a notch. At mile 26 she “chicked” same-day-race-shirt Greg Hardesty (5:28:47) and would never look back. Keira would finish in overall 12th in 5:20:57. We’re not sure what’s gotten into Mrs. Henninger but maybe it’s those Marion Jones energy bars. If somebody can actually catch up with her, give that gal a blood test.

Rob Cowan (Robo), fresh off a hundred-mile race, just coming off another 100 mile race, having just completed another 100 mile race, finishing 4th in another 100 mile race (ok, get the picture?), got lost twice and still managed to finish overall 11th in 5:20:24. Robo passed a few of the same people three times: that must have been confusing for them. This race was your basic half marathon for Robo the great.

We can’t speak for everyone but for us, ultras are physically taxing events and we don’t plan much for the evening immediately following a 50k. Apparently, we’re in the minority. The picture below is almost unbelievable. It’s a true testament to how fit these two very talented runners are. If you live in a cave or don’t eat gourmet frozen pizzas, that’s Wolfgang Puck on the far left. While most of this recap is average comedy, this is not a joke. This picture was taken in Los Angeles about eight hours following the conclusion of the Noble Canyon 50k. Oh yeah, both Michelle and Robo went home and then to respective kid soccer games before making it up to Hollywood. I don’t know about you but it looks to me that Wolfgang has the hots for Robo and that Saturday Night Fever tie.

Eight hours after this race, I was at my father-in-law’s house getting a free sperm-of the-moment prostate exam. I’m not sure, but I think my post-race activities need some sprucing up. Let’s see, desinger drinks, ice sculptures and hob-nobbing in a swanky restaurant with famous people or my wife’s dad lubricated glove? Which activity sounds more fun? I don’t know, it’s a coin toss.

I can’t find much to complain about with the Noble Canyon 50k but to stay in some realm of objective journalism I have to make a comment about the dreaded porta-potties; not enough wasn’t really the issue here, but the location of the blue mini-vans comes into question. Situated adjacent the grass spectator area and gymnasium front door, I couldn’t tell if I was at an ultra event or part of the San Diego Zoo gorilla exhibit. The stench was unbearable in the precise area you really wanted to be hanging out. The only thing I can surmise is maybe it made the Bad Rats feel more at home. Fine, go move underground with Splinter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but please put future toilets somewhere else.

Leaving the trail for a few minutes and using both hydration bottles to mark his re-entry point, Robert Harris (6:06:33) was spotted trying to reclaim his hand-held devices from some nice mountain biker who figured they were up for grabs. Have we told you how much we love mountain bikers?

We ran the first mile with Kirk Fortini (7:32:30) but he dropped off to water the plants and then we didn’t see him again for six hours. For dinner, Kirk had taken his family to 711 the night before and it looks like he may have pounded one too many 64-ounce Big Gulps. Kirk would go on to complete his first 100-mile race in the Javelina Jundred in October. Congratulations, Kirk. Time to celebrate. Circle K, here we come!

We wanted to snap a photo of Kirk on the Noble Canyon 50k trail but didn’t bring our night flash equipment. Kirk is seen here posing for his life coach and idol Lambert Timmermans.

In all honesty, there were few if any indications that this was a new race. The ultra experience of the coordinators was evident in all aspects of the race. From aid stations to course markings, the Noble Canyon 50K looked like a veteran race in its 10th year. The pre-post race gymnasium was lush and spacious. Food was fresh and abundant. The Mizuno technical shirt is hands-down the best race shirt of 2007 and it’s OK to wear it in next year’s event; Greg! Dimitri! The post-race shower option was great, though we would request a co-ed group option for next year’s venue.

Overall, we feel the Noble Canyon 50k delivers the right trails at the right time. The first one-third of the course is predominantly uphill and requires the greatest effort which is nice in the initial stage of any race. You’re fresh, pumped and hydrated (well, some are). The middle section produces rollercoaster trails with gradual gains and losses. And, the final third is mostly downhill. The course is fair and transitions nicely. Hard enough for the hardcore and fair enough for the first timer, the Noble Canyon 50k should appeal to mice, hamsters, gerbils and rats of all abilities and agendas.

For next year’s participants, please be aware of the RV parked directly behind the gymnasium. This is Jerry Armstrong’s second home and he requests that you knock hard on the outside of his camper (no matter how early you arrive) so he can personally fix you breakfast. An energetic man, he limps around and tells everyone he’s injured and then passes you at mile 1, never to be seen again. Jerry, with the help of Dr. Victor Runco (6:37:21) and The San Diego Running Institute would take overall third place in 5:07:00. Not bad for a 1½ legged man.

Congratulations to Lorraine Bennett (8:11:17) for completing her first ultra under the tutelage of Jerry Armstrong. And a super congratulations to Cindy Yankee for competing in her first ultra. Falling over the cutoff time at mile 27.1, Cindy was given a lift for a few miles by race officials but that didn’t stop the world-class swimmer from crossing the finishing line and then going back out to complete the four omitted miles. Now that’s hardcore and the TRD likes that.

Throw the TRD in a race official’s truck and they better keep their eyes on the CDs. We’re gone in our leather bucket seats cruising back to Plastic Ville! Excuse me, is that a Rolex heart rate monitor? Wow, it really matches your hamstrings and Louis Vitton drop bag. I see your poodle has a TNF hydration pack. Where’s the Botox?

Written, ran and reported by Charlie Nickell.

Edited and ran by OC Register reporter Greg Hardesty.

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Summary:

When: Saturday, September 29, 2007

Where: Laguna Mountain area, San Diego County, CA