Apparently, where there’s a lake an ultra is lurking close by. Twin Peaks 50/50 has Irvine Lake, the Lake Hodges 50K has Lake Hodges (brilliant reporting there!) and the Leona Divide 50 Mile-Run (Leona) has Lake Hughes. We had no idea Howard Hughes was into ultras but, he was ultra rich. Leona Helmsley’s (“only the little people pay taxes”) was continually divided on which jail cell best matched her tacky eye shadow.

We’re guessing there is some tie-in with these famous individuals and the Leona Divide 50-Mile Run. Or, we could be totally off. Maybe the lake is owned by RD Don Hughes. Leona has a cool, rough & tumble name that conjures up images of Louis & Clark and the Donner Party (please pass Bob and the potatoes).

In its 16th year, Leona has most recently been Scott Jurek’s personal playground. The long-haired legend has won the prestigious 50-miler four times; 2000, 2001, 2002 and 2004. However, 2003 & 2005 belonged to speedster, Leona record-holder and last month’s San Juan Trail 50K winner Jorge Pacheco. Who would take home the coveted red Ferrari in 2007? OK, one can dream.

Leona is a beautiful course that packs a wallop: a cumulative 9,000 feet of quad-busting uphill and downhill trails through the scenic Angeles National Forest. A whopping 34 miles are on the pristine Pacific Crest Trail. Does everything need corporate sponsorship? Is nothing sacred? The Staples Center, Arco Arena and now the Pacific Crest Trail. What the toothpaste giants expects to gain from this venture, we’ll never understand; maybe a fluoride energy gel is in the works.

During one stretch of the run, which this year was blessed with perfect weather, a runner could look down and see pinecones the size of Leona Helmsley’s purses and, off in the distance below, the desert floor –  two separate worlds so close, yet so distant. Elite runners flock to the LD50, but Leona also is great for first-timers who yearn to experience a challenging, but not death-defying, run through the mountains.

There are tougher 50-milers (there always are), but Leona is far from a cakewalk. Almost all the trails (fire road and the PCT portions) are mercifully free of rocks, roots and other obstacles (except fellow runners). As a bonus this year, rain the evening before yielded cushy stretches of smooth running and very few puddles. There even were patches of snow near the high mark of 4,680 feet; some of it yellow. The sun was out but the temperature was ideal –  in the mid-60s. When the brisk wind picked up at the higher elevations, it got downright bracing. This reporter would risk a bad hair day.

Leona is known for three particularly brutal climbs, the last coming at mile 42, thank you very much, you sick, sadistic freaks. This climb lasts all the way to about mile 47, and just when you’re about to pull your hair out comes the payoff: a smooth 3-mile descent to the finish.

Leona also is famous for its frequent and well-stocked aid stations –  a whopping 10! Runners never are left wanting for smiles from the gracious and friendly volunteers or fuel in the form of gels, pizza, boiled potatoes –  the usual heavenly fare that ultra-runners crave.

Jessica Deline (Twin Peaks 50/50 RD) and Keira Henninger (OC Trail Princess) bravely manned the aid station at Mile 20. Jessica’s main job was to make sure Keira didn’t drink the runners’ water or get injured. Unfortunately, Keira pulled a calf muscle salting the potatoes, strained a hamstring pouring Gatorade and then got sciatica from a folding chair. Keira almost set a Leona course record by being the first aid station volunteer to DNF.

Next year, Keira will be manning the Mile 27 aid station along with three concession stand pacers from Dodger Stadium; “Take me out to the ultra, take me out to the show, buy me some salt pills and Hammer gels, I don’t care if I totally smell.’’

Leona starts promptly at 6 a.m. at the Lake Hughes Community Center; right after bingo and the workshop on how to tint your hair blue. The cutoff time, strictly enforced along the course, is 13 hours. The clanging of a hammer against a large circular saw blade jolted the runners to the start line.

“The race starts in 10 minutes, and I don’t care who’s in the crapper!’’ the man with the saw blade said. Apparently, if you were in the pisser everything was OK, but take a No. 2, and you’re screwed. Soon, the runners were off.

The single-track Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) portion of the LD50 starts after the second aid station at Mile 13.4, and features gorgeous switchbacks and wide-open vistas of lush valleys and, this year, the snow-capped peaks of the Tehachapi Mountains in the distance.

If you feel like doing the 200-mile option, you can take the PCT all the way down to the Mexican border. The beauty about the PCT is it doesn’t allow mountain bikes so the path isn’t rutted out. Don’t get us wrong, we have nothing against mountain bikers. We think everyone has the right to run one of them over at least twice a year.

The toughest climb at Leona –  about 1,700 feet –  comes from miles 28 to 35.5. It’s a gradual climb, yes –  but, like a bad first date, it seems to never end. During this portion of the run (an out-and-back), slower runners get to see the front-runners as they blaze their way down the trail. I managed to snap off a photo of eventual winner Jorge Pacheco, who set the course record last year with a time of 6:34:51.

Figuring I was a paparazzi, Jorge went for the camera like a pissed Alec Baldwin but I was too quick; I didn’t even drop my long-stemmed cigarette. On one hour of sleep, playing the aid stations flawlessly, Jorge would go onto win this year’s event in 6:58:04. Hot on his heels was Krissy Moehl, who smiled warmly when she passed me on the way down and, like all the front-runners, lied through her teeth when she told me, “Greg, you’re looking good!’’

I must have been more delirious than I thought. I later found out she said, “Hey, you look like you need some food!” For the record, Krissy was the top female finisher, clocking in at 7:58:49. Both she and Jorge were well off last year’s pace. Perhaps they got too caught up in the beautiful scenery? Maybe they decided to build yellow snowmen from the scattered patches of ice at the 35.5 mile turnaround. Maybe they run in 25 to 30 events a month.

It was just past mile 28 when first-time ultra-marathoner John Clarke started seeing the snakes: thin little buggers on the most brutal portion of Leona, a climb of about 1,700 feet over seven miles, just when fatigue was beginning to exert its stranglehold –  like a cobra, in fact. Of course, they weren’t really snakes: just sticks.

Clarke, 44, of Santa Clarita, also was hearing strange rustling in the bushes of the Angeles National Forest. He was tired and slightly dizzy, and he had a small headache. His palms and fingers were swollen. Ah, hallucinations –  just another day for a long-distance trail runner! For Clarke, a married father of two, finishing Leona would be a challenge. But, he was determined to conquer the race, which is a popular qualifying run for the legendary Western States 100. After all, Clarke’s brother-in-law, an avid ultra-marathoner, would be waiting for him at the finish line. And Clarke had mentioned the race to his boss, and dreaded facing an office full of disappointed faces on Monday morning if he didn’t finish.

So Clarke pushed forward. Low on sodium (that explained the swelling), he rebounded after ingesting some pretzels, chips and salted boiled potatoes — and drinking lots of Gatorade.

“My mantra for much of the race was, ‘I will never ever ever do this again!’” Clarke said.     Clarke finished Leona in 11:16:20, just behind Orange County’s own Dirty Girl (as in Dirty Girl Gaitors) founder Xy Weiss (11:14:05).   At the finish line, Clarke sucked down the best Sprite he’s ever tasted. On the drive home to Santa Clarita, his brother-in-law turned to him and said, “John, you’re an ultra-marathoner now.” Are there any sweeter words for a newbie to hear?

“The main memory I will take from the experience is the kindness and camaraderie of the people I met on the trail and at the aid stations,’’ Clarke said. “Modern society can be fragmenting and isolating. But for several hours (at Leona), a few hundred people shared in the elemental human experiences of fatigue, pain, discouragement, comfort, empathy, togetherness and triumph. I’m honored to have been a part of it.’’

Jill Childers (11:42:49) 42, of San Diego, was among the 161 starters. She was happy to be here –  and just happy to be alive. Childers escaped a harrowing accident in August 2003 while competing in a triathlon. A cyclist clipped her rear wheel and sent her toppling to the pavement (see, now the bad-taste mountain biker crack starts making sense). Childers suffered a broken jaw, broken collarbone and bleeding on the brain. She didn’t get on a bike for two years.

This year, at Leona, Childers was buzzing about recently winning a lottery spot at Ironman Hawaii. She had been training for her first Ironman when she was thrown off her bike. “I started running ultras, and I just got addicted,’’ Childers said as she chugged up the first 8.5 miles of Leona to the first aid station –  a gradual uphill starting at 3,300 feet, hitting 4,100 and then dropping back down to 3,600. The fire road was very smooth and in excellent condition. Friday is obviously street-sweeper day.

During the final climb at Leona, beginning at mile 42, Childers was feeling wiped out. At mile 44, she threw up –  a first for the veteran runner, who has completed five 50-milers and five 50Ks. “I get emotional when I throw up, so I cried and just wished this darn run would end,’’ Childers recalled a few days after the race. “I prayed and went on in faith.’’

Lynn Ballard (10:27:24) 50, a businessman from the Dallas area, was feeling fine. The friendly Texan with several ultras under his belt, including 100-milers, squeezed in Leona at the end of a business trip to Los Angeles. “It’s been a long meeting, let’s take a break. Dave, could you get some sandwiches for the group? Sally, can you restock the soft drinks? I’m gonna step out real quick and run 50 miles and then let’s pick back up with the Steinberg campaign.’’

After the race, Ballard had to catch the red-eye flight back home in time for church. I suggested he run so he wouldn’t have to see those tight-fitting TSA outfits.

“I realized I didn’t have to concentrate too much on footing and could just run, staying focused on the race,’’ said Ballard, who is used to running more technical trails and ran Leona in preparation for the Bighorn 100 Mile-Run in Wyoming in June.

“I pushed hard back to the big drop before mile 42,’’ Ballard said, “and I literally crashed the downhill, having a lot of confidence in my quads and feeling quite sure of a sub-11 hour finish.’’

Ballard credits a can of chicken soup and a bottle of Ensure for helping him to his solid finish.

During almost all of Leona, I was trailing a friend from the Orange County Trail Runners –  which, as Woody Allen would say, is stupid enough to have me as a member (I should stay away from such clubs). Kevin Nasman 32, was running his first 50-miler (this was my second), and darn if I was going to let the smooth-headed rookie upstage me –  well, not really, but I kept my eye on Kevin (when I could).

I finally caught up to Kevin at around mile 46, near the end of the long, uphill slog before the final downhill to the finish. Kevin was spent, but still in good spirits. “Everything hurts,’’ Kevin said. “Even my teeth.’’ Not really obsessing over a finish time, and feeling pretty wasted myself, I stuck with Kevin and we crossed the finish together at 10:14:17 –  a PR for me, and quite an impressive achievement for Kevin.

Overall second place went to Robert Leanardo (7:01:36) with Kevin Dean taking third (7:09:30). Finishing almost three hours before me, they could have been in Vegas by the time I finally sat down so let’s just say they’re really fast. I have no idea what sprinters think about during a 50-mile race: skin speed burns, fast cars? Maybe they’re reversely amazed at how long some of us stay out on the course. Fortunately, they seem professional and kind enough to keep those thoughts internal. It takes my hair more than seven hours to feather back properly to make me look like Don Johnson running down drug dealers.

Second-place female was captured by Ceal Klingler (8:57:59) with third place being claimed by Elaine McMahon (9:25:15). Both of them beat me by more than 45 minutes and both of them have nicer hair than me Wrapped up in post-race envy, I conveniently forgot to touch base with them.

The Leona Divide 50 Mile Run (OK, I walked some of it) is a prestigious race. Just look at some of the other more notable finishers.

Where there’s a Tracy Moore (7:39:58), a Tom Nielsen typically is close by. Not today. Tom must have been running a 10,000K or something. The dynamic duo is by far the best example of ultra camaraderie you’ll ever find. If you’ve seen the movie “Top Gun” there is a line by Tom Cruise that defines these two: “Never leave your wingman.’’

Kyle Hoang (7:57:10), third-place finisher in the 2006 AC100, squeaked in a few minutes ahead of Krissy Moehl. I have trained with Kyle. Let’s rephrase that: I’ve run a few blocks with Kyle. He is so fast that he literally is out of view within about 10 minutes of any training run. I usually turn around, go home and get back in bed. To think that six people came in before Kyle is amazing. He is the fastest runner I personally know. OK, we don’t date, so relax.

I was told by someone that Eric Clifton (8:39:20) holds the 100-mile time record (13 hours and change). Now, I’m a lousy reporter and haven’t confirmed that, but I believe everything I hear. This Clifton can run and he usually wears the coolest pants around.

Jennifer Foreman (9:57:41) may have surprised the crowd but not herself with a sub 10-hour effort. Seven seconds later, Robert Schipsi (9:57:48) came in and was immediately arrested for stalking and/or excessive drafting; not sure which one, but he’s conveniently in Miwok on parole.

Lori Heinselman-Craig (10:58:30), just getting over a SJT50K poison oak attack, ran the entire event in a glad trash bag. Mistaken, by the Forest Service, as a portable waste container at around mile 45, she was cited for littering. Lori has run more ultras than anybody we know. In fact, she holds the 1st-grade class record for the Sesame Street Ultra held back in 1968. She only had to take three naps and eat 12 cookies to win that pioneering event.

The happiest ultra marathoner in the world, Natalia Norman, PRd in a time of 11:47:46 crushing her previous personal best by almost two days. Living in “Opposite World” Nattie’s mood seems to improve as a run gets tougher or longer. Put her in a 5K and its instant Tourette Syndrome.

And Fred Pollard, official points-keeper for the So. Cal Ultra Marathon Series, came in well before the cutoff time at 12:52:59. I included Fred because he is a great guy and avid runner, but also because Charlie Nickell needs more points to overtake Robert Schipsi. Fred, did we mention you looked great?

And we can’t forget Andy Kumeda (9:25:46) because he never forgets to run in every ultra within 4,000 miles of his LA home. His license plate frame must read, “so many ultras, so little time.” Andy runs 100 mile races that don’t actually exist but somehow still manages to get a shirt.

The Leona Divide 50 Mile Run is a classic race. Thought out and supported, it’s a well-respected event for good reason. While one can write about the course, the real story is consistently about the competitors. Whether elite status or running Leona for the first time, everyone tapped an inner cause to drag themselves over the finish line. While some were trying to win and others just finish, it was another day at the ultra office. The person with the easiest job this year is the engraver. It’s just a simple Windows cut & paste to get two of the world’s best endurance runners back on the wood plaque. Control “C”, Control “V” and it’s the Pacheco-Moehl show back for a second season. Now for a commercial break.

Written and reported by Greg Hardesty

Embellished by Charlie Nickell

Click Here for the 2007 Leona Divide race day slideshow featuring The Knack and their famous 80s hit “My Leona.”

Summary:

When: Saturday, April 21
Where: Lake Hughes, CA (northeast of Los Angeles, near Lancaster/Castaic)
Race Directors: Glenda Kemmerly and Don Hughes

Course Description: Combination of fire trail and singletrack run through hilly mountains ranging in elevation from about 3,000 to 4,700 feet. Course features a 14.5-mile out-and-back (miles 28 to 42.5).

Number of starters:     161
Number of finishers:   137
Success rate:           85%

Top three male finishers:
1) Jorge Pacheco, 39         6:58:04
2) Robert Leonardo, 44     7:01:36   
3) Kevin Dean, 36             7:09:30

Top three female finishers:
1) Kristen Moehl, 29               7:58:49
2) Ceal Klinger, 37                 8:57:59
3) Elaina McMahon, 49           9:25:15

Web site: http://www.leonadivide.com